Mike Royko

I'm disappointed to learn that I blindly missed a defining moment in American history. This has come to my attention in the many gushing reviews of a new movie called...

Rubbing my eyes didn't help. The incredible image was still on the TV. There outside the Pentagon was the secretary of defense, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff,...

"So, what happened to those dirty scum bags?" Slats Grobnik asked. "Those rotten murderers, rapists, child killers, thieves and enemies of everything good and decent and democratic?" To what vile...

They had just finished a big expense-account dinner-tall drinks, rare prime rib, plump lobster-and were rambling toward Michigan Avenue, a dozen salesmen in Chicago for a corporate meeting. They were...

What's happened to this country's backbone, our spunk, our patriotism, our old get-up-and-go spirit?" asked Slats Grobnik, glaring at the bar's TV set. "Just listen to all those slackers talking...

In formally announcing the end of this baseball season, somebody named Bud Selig, who represents the franchise owners, went on TV and used the phrase "terrible economic problem" to describe...

Schoolteacher Jim Bauser thought that his call to Internal Revenue would be greeted with gratitude and enthusiasm. But he didn't understand the strange workings of the bureaucratic mind. "In April...

The reporters' questions bordered on being laughable. They wanted Secret Service officials to guarantee that nobody would ever again crash a plane near the White House. The Secret Service firmly...

The brick bounced off the windshield of Richard Jenkins' car just before he got to the Chicago Skyway toll booths. He saw the two teenagers who threw it from the...

`As long as we don't have a baseball season," Slats Grobnik said, "we might as well invade Haiti and have some daytime TV that's worth watching. But President Clinton should...