Game 2. It comes after Game 1 and before Game 3, and some believe it to be the most dangerous game of the species.
1st Mark Buehrle is just being himself. Love it. Dear Sox: If Jarrod Washburn coughs, duck. Scott Podsednik’s on third, and JERMAINE DYE DRAWS FIRST BLOOD! Washburn’s pitching like he’s still curled up in bed.
Score: Sox lead, 1-0
2nd This all happens on the same play: Aaron Rowand (diving at right) doubles, takes third on an error, goes home on another error, gets thrown out, and I suffer severe carpet burns simulating his unsuccessful slide. Score: Sox lead, 1-0
3rd Buehrle has faced the minimum. Sadly, he can’t silence Fox’s cartoon baseball. Podsednik singles, Lou Piniella tells us he played Pony League with Tony LaRussa, and the Sox strand Pods. Enough idle chatter. Score: Sox lead, 1-0
4th Oh, for gosh darn-darn, Buehrle’s no-hitter vanishes. And he hits a batter. And nobody scores, so who cares? Heard a rumor someone’s selling Cubbie blue “Bi-Soxual” T-shirts outside the park. Beee-yootiful.
Score: Sox lead, 1-0
5th Robb Quinlan–Mr. Five Homers All Season–homers. Buehrle’s in hot water, but like the little lobster that could, he escapes. Sox load the bases but strand all three like little lobsters with their legs broken. Score: Tied, 1-1
6th If I’m SoCal Bag Boy, I bemoan the Angels’ quiet bats. But I’m not, so I don’t. Washburn’s gone; all sanitary facemasks can be removed. It’s a 1-2-3 sixth for the Sox, and now I’m coughing uncontrollably. Score: Tied 1-1
7th Angels roll over easily. Almost … too easily. Joe Crede doubles then gets doubled off on a line drive out to left. And I pour myself a double. Two of them. WHY DIDN’T ROWAND JUST SIT ON THIRD?! Score: Tied 1-1
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8th With an Angel on third, Podsednik snags a deep drive against the wall, and 40,000-plus just gasped together. Sox strike out, strike out and strike out. I smell extra innings. Score: Tied 1-1
9th Buehrle shuts ’em down–again. With my rally bag in place A.J. Pierzynski reaches on a controversial dropped third strike–I have no comment–and the pinch-runner steals second. No way this pans out for–JOE CREDE DRIVES IN THE WINNING RUN! Score: Sox win, 2-1