MR. MACHO TAGS ALONG ON THE GREAT SHARK HUNT
Like many people, I have had a lifelong yearning to give up my humdrum daily existence and go to sea and get one or more of my hands bitten off....
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THE STRAIGHT SKINNY ABOUT THE PERILS OF PORNOGRAPHY
Today we`re going to take a long, hard look at.... No, wait, let`s rephrase that. Today we`re going to become very alarmed about pornography, a problem that threatens to cause...
NEW DOG ZIPPY PROVES TO BE NO PRIZE
I was going to write about how we got this new dog named Zippy, but then, in yet another shocking reminder of this nation`s drug problem, I got the Pulitzer...
Exclusive! All the trade secrets fit to print
As a professional journalist, I find that when I attend social functions, I am often peppered with questions from members of the public who are eager to learn more about...
GRAMMAR ADVICE? YOU COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE
Once again it is time for ''Ask Mister Language Person,'' the popular biennial feature wherein we discuss the kinds of common grammatical concerns with which common people tend to encounter...
AIRBORNE TO LOSE (OR, WHY THE FEAR OF FLYING ISN`T GROUNDLESS)
Nervous? Hah! NERVOUS?! Forget it! I am not the least tiny little BIT nervous about engaging in air travel these days!! Why, even as I write these words, I am...
Something needs to be done about children`s…
Something needs to be done about children`s birthday parties. Let`s look at the chilling statistics: There are 256 million people in the United States, of whom 41.3 million are age...
TAXI TERROR! SUBWAY TALES! (OR, WHY DAVE DOESN`T (HEART) N.Y.)
I am riding in a taxi from La Guardia to a Manhattan hotel. The Official New York City Taxi Rules are posted on the back of the driver`s seat: 1....
WIGGING OUT OVER AN HEIR`S NEW STYLE
Okay, I`m not going to panic. I am going to stay cool and rational, because there is no need to get alarmed just because my own son, who is only...
ACH! WHONK! THOSE GERMANS KNOW HOW TO HAVE (DEDUCTIBLE) FUN
As a widely respected Foreign Correspondent, I recently felt the need to travel to Germany so I could observe firsthand the front lines of this dangerous all-dominating worldwide struggle we...