Dave Barry

Today we bring you our informative feature ''News Items In the News,'' which is made possible by all the alert readers out there who keep clipping newspaper articles and sending...

On my 41st birthday, a Sunday in July, I went out to face the spider. It had to happen. There comes a time in a man`s life when he reaches...

Today`s homeowner topic is: How to get a box down from a shelf. Experts agree that the correct way to get a box down from a shelf depends on how...

It`s a minute before 9 a.m. in Orlando, Vacation Standard Time, and my family and I are bracing ourselves, getting ready for the all-out, possibly fatal sprint toward Tomorrowland. Tomorrowland...

Up to this point I never considered myself a golf kind of guy. Whenever I thought of golf, I thought of guys telling endless droning anecdotes about ''bogeys'' and wearing...

I note with alarm that you voters have failed to mail large, illegal cash contributions to my presidential campaign (Official Theme: ''A Commitment to Motorcades''). So far, all we have...

My family and I recently returned from a trip to Alaska, a place that combines spectacular natural beauty with a breathtaking amount of tax-deductibility if you write a travel article...

I have exciting news for you consumers out there whose future plans include, at some point, death. This news came to me in a mailing from a company in Salt...

Hey, it`s summertime! Time for fun `n` sun at the beach `n` pool! And you know what that means, guys `n` gals! It means you`re too big `n` fat. Especially...

It`s time somebody spoke up for the troubled U.S. cigarette industry. This antismoking hysteria is getting out of hand. Just recently there was a chilling case in California in which...