Dave Barry

Okay, I bought my child a Nintendo video-game system. I realize I should not admit this. I realize the Child Psychology Police may arrest me for getting my child a...

Today we have some important developments to report from the U.S. food and beverage industry, especially the historic breakthrough invention of: ice cream for dogs. We have done a scientific...

Once again America finds itself under attack by the forces of Sin and Evil and Immorality and Gladys Knight and the Pips. I refer to an alarming incident that recently...

So you`ve finally decided to do it: This summer, you`re going to get that passport, pack that suitcase, rob that bank and take that European vacation. Good for you! Every...

In case anybody is interested, it looks like we`re about to be eaten by insects. You may have missed this, because it was reported in the section of the newspaper...

Here at the Consumer Command Post (''Working To Make Your World More Threatening''), we continue to receive alarming news items clipped by alert readers who have somehow obtained scissors from...

Today we`re going to attempt a groundbreaking medical experiment to help those unfortunate readers who suffer from a tragic condition called Humor Impairment. Don`t laugh! Humor Impairment afflicts Americans from...

Okay, this is it. The last day of the Red Cross blood drive at the Miami Herald. Either I am going to do it, or, for the umpteenth consecutive time,...

To understand why we taxpayers need to become alarmed about the federal budget deficit, let`s compare it to a simple everyday household situation that even total morons such as ourselves...

If you`re looking for a vacation concept that combines the element of outdoor fun with the element of knocking down a tree with your face, you can`t do better than...