Everyone agreed the inaugural ladies’ tea held last weekend at St. Gall Catholic Church was a huge success. But the pieces that formed the heart of this event began arriving in silence the night before.
They came in padded boxes. Wrapped lovingly in tissue paper. Carried carefully by eight women of this Elburn parish who were eager to share these heirloom teacups and dishes that connected them to mothers, grandmothers and generations past.
And still no words were spoken as those delicate treasures were gently taken out of protective wrappings and placed on tables being prepared for the next morning’s “Tea With our Lady.”
In place of clatter and chatter was quiet reverence. So quiet, as several observed, you could have heard a pin drop.
“It was almost as if each of the women was alone with their thoughts in an invisible memory cloud,” noted Lynn Saccaro, who helped put this event together that, in addition to promoting faith and fellowship, also raised more than $700 for Hesed House in Aurora.
“I couldn’t help but wonder,” she added, “about the many memories of family, of special holidays and traditions that each piece of china they were holding brought to mind.”
For Denise Wojtal, there were tears as she hesitantly unpacked a box of “blue willow” dinnerware that had not been opened in over three decades. Each dish, each teacup brought back a memory of her mother, who had died of a massive heart attack at age 67.
“My mom would be so happy to know her china is being used after 35 years,” Wojtal said aloud, breaking the silence that had descended upon the room.
Wojtal, who was hosting one of the eight tables, was surprised at how emotional this moment was.
Not long before Catherine Knuth’s unexpected passing, as if she had a premonition, she made a special request to her only daughter: Hold on to this blue and white china featuring our nation’s historical landmarks. Do not give it away. And someday pass it on to the next generation who will also treasure it.
Wojtal is honoring that wish. But opportunities for her to use the dishes were non-existent. Her family, she told me, goes to another relative’s home for holiday meals, and when people gather at her house, “it is for a picnic.”
But now the dishes Wojtal’s mother always kept in an antique “pie safe” were on full display. And the following morning, the women at her table not only were treated to freshly-made scones, quiches, biscuits and torts, they were able to enjoy her story.
Wojtal’s parents, both only children, first got to know each other as pen-pals while her father Louis, orphaned at age 5, was serving in the Aleutian Islands in World War II. After he came home, they met, were married and raised three children in a little home in Sycamore.
“They had zero money” as they started life together, making it unlikely the dishes were purchased by her parents, said Wojtal. “The dishes probably came from Mom’s Uncle Gerald, who collected antiques.” But no matter their origin, they were important enough her mother wanted to make sure her only daughter received them.
The nostalgia unleashed at Wojtal’s table was repeated throughout the room at the tea, including at the table hosted by Karen Sciackitano.
She too became emotional at this chance to share her white china with the light gold trim and feathery blossoms: a bridal shower gift from husband Nino’s mother when the two were married 65 years ago on June 3 – just a few days after the tea.
Even though there are a couple of missing pieces and a serving bowl with a small chip on the rim, Sciackitano uses this china at every holiday and special event. And she’s hoping that, because both her daughters have their own “beautiful” sets, a granddaughter will want these dishes someday.
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As we all know, however, younger generations aren’t always so receptive to such heirlooms.
Once a fixture of wedding registries and holiday tables, fine china occupied a special place in family life, marking those important occasions and then handed down. But today’s lifestyles are often more casual. Large formal dining rooms are less common; extended families may gather less frequently. And let’s face it, many prefer the tableware that can go straight into the dishwasher and microwave.
Which can’t help but raise the question: how many of those lovely place settings at the tea were meant for daughters, granddaughters or daughters-in-law who graciously declined them?
It’s that reality which likely contributed to so many emotions at this intimate gathering: The hostesses not only had an opportunity to display family heirlooms but use them as their mothers and grandmothers once intended.
“It was pretty powerful,” said Lisa Long, who took a leap of faith when she organized this “Tea with Our Lady” after a series of powerful spiritual signs “became too hard to ignore.”
“We were not just sharing faith but sharing special memories we hold near and dear to our hearts,” she said, adding that one of her favorite thank-you’s for the event were followed by these simple words.
“We all need this today.”