Fully vaxxed, and semi-vexxed. That’s how I’d describe travel in the time of COVID-19.
Some elements of getting out of town remain the same, regardless of the pandemic. The stress of packing? The same. Last minute family fights on the way to the airport? The same. Anger and impatience at the length of the lines at check-in and TSA? The same.
Other elements are pandemic and destination specific. Showing a valid passport might not cut it. A valid vaccination record might not be enough either.
Depending on where you’re heading, some countries require travelers to have a PCR test, taken within 72 hours of the flight’s scheduled departure, with proof of a negative result presented via a QR code.
Don’t panic. I would never let that sentence hang in the air, unexplained.
PCR stands for polymerase chain reaction. You never need to know that. A PCR test is just the fancy name for the COVID-19 test. You know. The one where they swab your nostrils until they hit your brain.
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QR code is a type of machine-readable matrix bar code containing information. Or, as I like to think of it, it’s that black-and-white geometric square thingy whose patterns magically convey data to a laser-beamed scanner.
Anyway, some destinations will require 72-hour proof of a negative COVID test. Here’s what I recommend.
Consider going to Walgreens for your test, and then change your mind because they don’t offer results via a QR code. Wonder why, and then stop thinking about Walgreens.
Discover with delight that CVS offers free rapid-result PCR testing along with the critical QR code, sent to your email. Make an appointment. Drive through. Follow the directions the kind pharmacist is patiently explaining to you. Drive away and feel like things are under control.
Wait a few hours and begin to hyperventilate. What if the CVS test results don’t arrive in your inbox before your time of departure? Call everyone traveling with you. Set off a wave of hysteria.
Google “One Hour PCR Testing Near Me.” Discover there are different definitions of what “near me” means.
Ascertain, as a family, how much one should pay for peace of mind. Consider the cost of travel, the cost of paying for the test, and the cost of not making it onto the plane.
Drive 28 minutes to Devon Avenue, where several clinics promise results in 24 hours. Pay $100 to insure you get your PCR test with the QR Code in time.
Feel great until you learn your brother paid $75, and your husband paid $25. For the same test. At the same place.
Wonder if the tests are legitimate. Dismiss caring because you want to get on your plane.
Marvel at your father’s ability to get his test results back in the exact amount of time it took him to go down the street and polish off a lunch of goat curry.
Stop caring. Print your negative QR code. Get on the plane. Wear your mask. Enjoy your final destination.
Sally Schwartz is a freelance columnist.