Is it OK to “block” family members from calling your phone if they’ve disrespected you and treated you badly? Or is it better to be more family-like and leave the lines of communication open?
These phone calls certainly don’t sound like scenes from AT&T commercials of yore. In the 1980s — well before the proliferation of cellphones — that company’s ads featured loving friends and family members connecting through the miles. The only battles were the fights to push back tears of joy. All the while, a vexingly catchy jingle encouraged us: “Reach out and touch someone … you don’t need a reason to make somebody’s day. You know what words can do — coming from you.”
In this case, a call from certain members of your family seemingly has the ability to ruin rather than make your day. Is that cause for blocking their calls? I’d typically advise leaving the door open — even if just a crack. And yet, if their behavior is consistently disrespectful, and your attempts to address the matter in an adult fashion have fallen on deaf ears, it may be time to put technology to work. Before you take this step, express to them something along these lines:
“I find your actions upsetting, and seeing your name pop up on my phone is serving as a reminder of that hurt. I hope at some point we can repair the damage in our relationship. Until that time, I think it’s better we don’t speak on the phone.”
If these unkind folks do not honor your request, go ahead and block them. Unless you live on a remote mountaintop with no internet access, there are plentiful other ways for them to contact you if something urgent ever arises.
You should never have to abide terrible behavior, least of all from your own relations.
I recently had a friend visit my newly renovated home for the first time and was stunned when she didn’t utter a single comment about the transformation. Am I being too needy for expecting a bit more reaction than, “What time should we have lunch?”
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Even if she is not an HGTV devotee, to have seen your new space without finding at least one — if not several — things to comment on showed an unfortunate lack of graciousness on her part. The copious stress, time delays and cost overruns that typically accompany a renovation can leave us feeling exhausted and vulnerable. Is it any wonder we crave gushing reactions from friends and family telling us the heartache was well worth it?
Mister Manners, Thomas P. Farley, is a nationally regarded expert who appears regularly in the media to discuss modern-day etiquette dilemmas. To be featured here, send your questions to [email protected] and follow Thomas on Facebook, Twitter, Clubhouse and Instagram. For more insights, subscribe to his podcast, “What Manners Most.”
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