After reading his recent column, I appreciate the honest manner in which Pioneer editor John Puterbaugh grapples with the question, “Why do we report some suicides but not others?”
Despite being a leading cause of death, there is a continuing discomfort and lack of agreement on how we should communicate about suicide.
As a 60-year-old man, I remember when suicide was something not be spoken of. For that matter, we didn’t even utter the words “cancer” or “divorce” much either. We’ve made considerable progress in that we talk about suicide at all.
I believe death by suicide is almost always the result of depression, so it is really dying as a result of severe depression. It is a terrible and all-to-frequent outcome of a severe but common medical problem. Yet, we often use the word “commit” suicide. If you think about it though, we generally use the word “commit” to describe behaviors that are thought of to be wrong or illegal … like committing murder, or a committing a crime. I’d like to suggest dropping this language.
Talking frankly and respectfully about suicide is new territory, but I have witnessed it happening. When my dear friend died from depression at age 50, the family talked honestly and openly at the funeral about how it was suicide. It was difficult, but as far as I could tell it benefited everyone. Importantly, talking openly and respectfully also opens up possibilities to help us, and the folks around us, talk about depression, and get support and help.
I wrote this letter because especially in this time of excessively polarizing public discourse, I think there is a lot to be gained by stepping away from outdated and stigmatizing ideas, and talking respectfully and honestly about depression and suicide.
Joshua F. Mark, LCSW
Skokie
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