The soft chug of Sweet Honey in the Rock’s, “We Are,” one of her favorite songs, played in tribute to Dr. Deneita “Miss Dee Dee” Farmer as nearly 200 students, parents, fellow teachers and administrators and family sprinkled across the dim auditorium Sunday afternoon at the Julian Middle School auditorium to commemorate and sing songs as part of a final farewell.
Farmer was a beloved teacher in the pre-kindergarten partnership program at Longfellow Elementary School
The Rev. Alan Taylor from Oak Park’s Unity Temple Unitarian Universalist Congregation led the memorial service. He shared that he was a parent of children Farmer taught and that she was “a woman who lived with strong values and a big heart. We grieve the loss of a beautiful human being, a dedicated teacher and a great champion for children.”
The community was affected by Farmer’s sudden passing on Oct. 7. Close family say that she passed due to unexpected complications from a surgery regarding an ailment.
“A friend to many people. She lived to teach, and she loved all the children she ever met,” fellow teacher Ryan Winchell said, as he gave a photo presentation in tribute to Farmer from a child’s perspective. “We had a friend. Her name was Miss Dee Dee.”
Several speakers found themselves unable to see their prepared farewell through their tears. Family, coworkers, and parents lumbered onto the stage carrying heavy hearts onto the stage to share their final thoughts.
“She was my best and first teacher,” her daughter, Keisha Farmer-Moore, said through tears. “She remains my first and best teacher in my heart.”
Farmer-Moore shared advice and themes that the “mother of moms” taught to her:
“Read, read, read everything.” Farmer-Moore said, explaining that her mother encouraged reading and critical thinking by looking up and finding and using information. Through a sad grin, she shared that as Miss Dee Dee’s daughter, when grounded, “there were no video games, and no TV. But you could read.”
“It’s OK to make mistakes; it’s OK to not do something well,” She said her mother coached, adding “learn from it and build.”
“Life is an adventure, have fun.” Farmer-Moore continued, “She could make a game out of anything. She was full of adventure and full of fun.”
Intermittently throughout the memorial service, about 50 little bodies twisted and turned as they sang songs like, “Che Che Kule” and “See You Later Alligator.” Also, with a career that spanned more than 20 years at Longfellow, all students of Miss Dee Dee’s in attendance joined on the stage and held a candle singing, “This Little Light of Mine.”
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“She took care of me as she is known to do. She loved me, and I loved her. … She loved me with her whole heart,” said Marion Ivey, a parent and teacher who said she knew Farmer for 17 years. As part of Farmer-Moore and Miss Dee Dee’s “chosen” family, she called Miss Dee Dee, “mom.”
Jill Pacyna, who Farmer called “Jilly-Cakes,” said she was a coworker of the teacher for 16 years.
“I will remember all she taught me about respect, diversity early-childhood education and life,” she said.
Colleen Berger added, “she was always like my ‘work-mom;’ she was also my friend.”
Farmer’s youngest son, Mark Farmer, shared by recording that his mother cared about teaching, and, “she did a wonderful job at it. She loved children and did an excellent job at bringing it to her class.”
“I never have known a teacher who could discipline parents as effectively as students,” Rev. Taylor said.
Christine Reeds is a parent who commented on her amazement at Farmer’s contributions to the Longfellow Elementary Martin Luther King Civil Rights play that she said changed her and her family’s life. She said that after Farmer’s passing, she felt comfort knowing that, “we have a group of children who have been taught that equality is worth fighting for. And we have Dee Dee to thank for that,” she said. “I’ll keep honoring her by acting as she always did — encouraging acceptance, showing tolerance and by reminding my children to love their neighbors for all their magnificent differences.”
Longfellow Principal Angela Dolezal, who said she knew Farmer for 11 years, fought back tears as she said, “in so many ways, Dee Dee meant so much to so many people. … The most important role she played in my life was that of a second mom. She always supported me in all of my endeavors.”
“She’s still watching,” she added. “She’s still guiding, and she’s still caring for each and every one of us.”
Taryn Galbreath is a freelance reporter for Pioneer Press.