“Tell them to go back to Fuckheadistan or wherever they come from.” Secret Service agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler), the hero of what is now a two-movie franchise crassly transforming real-life threats on innocent lives into bullheaded propaganda, really says this. It’s a pretty perfect distillation of this guy’s knowledge of and interest in other places.
The problem is that the mindless “London Has Fallen,” the unwanted sequel to 2013’s awful “Olympus Has Fallen,” falls so proudly on the side of lashing out ignorantly and violently that its effort to salute American heroism (a valid purpose) instead curdles into an affirmation of other countries’ stereotype of our nation as renegade cowboys. The setup for this second installment finds an army of Middle Eastern terrorists (apparently with ties in Pakistan and Yemen) infiltrating the funeral of the British prime minister and murdering countless bystanders and world leaders in the kind of horrifying public target practice that has become all too common as an actual news story. (And, obviously, once would be too common.) Clearly it’s the sort of massive, well-coordinated threat that ultimately stands no chance against the greatest presidential protector of all time (Butler; Aaron Eckhart returns as the prez), who certainly thinks nothing of the attack being retribution for a U.S. drone strike on the lead terrorist’s daughter’s wedding. Which, by the way, is very similar to a controversial, real-life drone strike on a wedding party in Yemen in 2013.
This is the worst kind of middle ground for a movie about terrorism, trapped between over-the-top and ridiculous enough to be entertaining (“White House Down”) and urgent/scary/intimate (the 9/11-based “United 93,” “Captain Phillips”). “London Has Fallen” sets up its premise seriously and executes it cartoonishly—of course Mike’s working on his resignation letter and prepping for his wife (Radha Mitchell) to give birth when he’s called to duty, where he seems less like a likable, badass national treasure than an obnoxious moron impersonating action-movie heroes he remembers from his childhood. “Yeah, well,” he says when told he’s leading an under-supported mission into a building with 100 terrorists. “They shoulda brought more men.” It might be inspiring courage if Mike didn’t take such glee in the suffering of his enemies, presented with an odd, desensitizing bloodlessness and fondness for pain. Meanwhile, there’s the fantasy of one unstoppable hero with a gun being able to take down any threat.
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Rather than considering the difficult decisions and constant retribution of warring nations, “London Has Fallen” broadly subscribes to a “We’re the best and strongest because we are!” mentality, shrugging off our own murder of innocents. Granted, this disposable crap isn’t meant to be thought about like this; “Olympus Has Fallen” earned its reputation as “‘Die Hard’ in the White House.” But that movie was far less fun and more offensive than that description might suggest, and “London Has Fallen,” again showing that we can’t make ’80s movies in today’s world, utilizes a bunch of action-thriller cliches while mistaking revolting, empty arrogance for admirable leadership.
Nope. 1 star (out of four)
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