Dino Russo knows that breaking up with someone is hard.
“I can’t think of anything worse than somebody lying down in their bed and thinking, ‘I don’t want to be here,’ ” Russo said.
That’s where Russo’s brainchild Smrtbrkp
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comes into play.While electronic breakup services Sorry It’s Over and The Breakup Shop gained notoriety last year for being quick-service ways to end things, Russo builds custom plans that are tailored to his clientele. There are no Mad Libs-style emails offered here.
Breaking up is rarely easy, and for those who are afraid to do it alone, Russo is there to help. While he’s not a counselor or a relationship expert, the 33-year-old uses his training in statistics and economics to “calculate odds and possible scenarios” based on your soon-to-be ex’s personality.
“I neutralize chaos,” Russo said. “I know how sensitive this is for some people, because nobody likes getting dumped.”
Russo, who works as the director of operations for a telecom startup at Chicago incubator 1871, began helping people create breakup plans 10 years ago. While living in Argentina, he said, he heard of a friend of a friend who was shot in the thigh (though the target was a different body part) after a breakup. Shortly thereafter, a close friend was attacked by her ex-boyfriend, ending with a trip to the hospital and a 50-inch TV thrown out the window.
“I kept thinking that both situations could have been avoided with a little bit of planning and understanding of the situation and significant other,” Russo said. “So I spent that whole night putting together a system to actually break up safely and peacefully.”
After moving to Chicago two years ago, Russo received his MBA with a concentration in economics from Loyola University. He used his educational background to create personalized breakup plans ($300-$500 per plan) for Chicago couples. While Smrtbrkp isn’t his primary occupation, Russo said the passion project is incredibly rewarding.
“I do it because I love it,” he said. “It makes me feel good when I know that someone avoided a potentially dangerous situation and they can move on with their life.”
Russo’s services work best for those who are at their wits’ end with a relationship but aren’t sure how to go about ending it in a safe, controlled way.
“It’s not about love or emotion anymore; it’s about logistics,” he said.
For people in emotionally or physically abusive relationships, Russo can provide a feeling of safety and support during a possibly damaging time.
For many people who call Russo, a breakup isn’t the final outcome. He estimated that 65 to 70 percent of the people who reach out to him don’t follow through on creating a breakup plan. He blames this on human impulsivity. For instance, Russo knows that if he gets a call or email on a Sunday night (“They spend a weekend together, fighting a lot,” he explained), that person probably won’t make contact again.
The popularity of Smrtbrkp is also contingent on the seasons. Most initial messages and phone calls happen in mid-June, when people can see warm weather and pool parties on the horizon. But come fall, the calls become more sparse, because, as Russo put it, “nobody breaks up before winter.”
Creating a personalized plan begins with a phone consultation during which Russo asks questions about the situation at hand. He might ask about the dumpee’s temperament or the type of building the couple lives in. Then he assigns each answer a number value (from one to 10) that he uses to calculate the likelihood for chaos or danger to arise for the dumper.
“If the variables assigned to a bad outcome are high, I would suggest they just avoid the situation altogether,” Russo said.
In that scenario, Russo would recommend moving “the talk” to a public space or having family and friends on standby in case things go awry.
Russo then constructs a 20-day post-breakup plan to help his clients get their ducks in a row to start moving forward with their lives.
Russo has helped break up 20 Chicago couples over the past two years, working on approximately one plan a month. Of course, the severity of the situation changes from couple to couple, and sometimes the split involves divvying up pricey purchases.
“You would not believe how many calls I get from guys wondering how they can get the ring back,” Russo said. On this, he won’t budge. If the person who proposed wants out of the relationship, the recipient keeps the ring. But if the person who proposed is getting dumped, the ring must be returned.
Russo has seen it all, and as the man behind the scenes, he has some sage wisdom for those about to face a breakup.
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“The main reason that people break up is because they don’t communicate,” he said. “They don’t say what they want.”