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1. The NFL playoff picture is so cloudy …

Matt Pais: … the race to lose in the first round has never been tighter.

Jay St. Pierre: … *still trying to think of something clever to say here* … move on to the next person.

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Jane Monzures: … like Chicago weather give it five minutes and it will change.

Kat Velez: … even the Bears still have a chance to make the playoffs.

Michael Walton II: … that it is hiding the fact that the Bulls are tanking.

2. What should the Bears send Justin Tucker for hitting that 61-yard field goal?

Matt Pais: A Victoria’s Secret model to try to kick him that far. Bet the under.

Jay St. Pierre: Bottle of the finest liquor they can find. Or something else with a little “kick” … HA, kicker pun!

Jane Monzures: The hosting gig for the 1985 Honey Bears “where are they now” TV show and a stuffed Staley Bear.

Kat Velez: A Christmas ham. Or a box of Omaha steaks.

Michael Walton II: They should send him a pick in the 2014 NBA Draft. It’s loaded with talent.

3. If Aaron Rodgers returns before the end of the season, what’s that mean for the Bears?

Matt Pais: Doom! Doom, I say! Or just legitimate competition.

Jay St. Pierre: More State Farm/Da Coach “Discount Daaaaaaaable Check” commercials.

Jane Monzures: That Packers fans will get even more annoying!

Kat Velez: It means we can hate our Packers-loving friends once a week without a twinge of guilt.

Michael Walton II: That it’s a good thing the Bears wide receivers’ health isn’t tied to Aaron Rodgers’ health.

4. What’s the best move the Cubs or Sox have made this offseason?

Matt Pais: Who? Talk to me about baseball when it’s not 5 below.

Jay St. Pierre: Weeelllll, they haven’t lost. That should count for something considering they combined for 195 of them last season.

Jane Monzures: To have an off season.

Kat Velez: They’re all terrible moves until proven otherwise. I know how this goes, Chicago baseball.

Michael Walton II: Tanking in general. It’s the best strategy these days.

5. Why was Paul McCartney trying to catch a T-shirt at a Sixers game?

Matt Pais: Re-enacting the little-known Beatles hit, “I’m Your T-Shirt, Can You Bring Me My Pants?”

Jay St. Pierre: As the Ragin’ Cajun, I feel like it’s my duty to point out that technically it was a Nets game (they played the 76ers at home).

Jane Monzures: To prove to us that he can catch no matter what the kids in the schoolyard used to say.

Kat Velez: Just because someone has more money than God doesn’t mean he can’t want a free T-shirt.

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Michael Walton II: He was just trying to get attention so he could voice his opinion on who the 76ers should draft.