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1. What did Robin Ventura say to get ejected from Saturday’s game?
Marc Silverman: “Oh yeah, the jerk store called …”
Leo Ebersole: All he was doing was starting an earnest conversation about the ump’s experiences in clown college.
Ernest Wilkins: “Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw `90210,’ it was on a scale.”
Elliott Serrano: “I think Aaron Sorkin’s `The Newsroom’ is superior to `The West Wing.'”
<runtime:thumbnail hspace="5" vspace="5" slug="re-sarah-spain”/> Sarah Spain: “Excuse me, sir, but I humbly disagree with the call you just made.”
2. What’s in store for Hawk Harrelson after his latest rant against umpires?
Marc Silverman: No soup for you, Hawk!
Leo Ebersole: He’ll be limited to the following words for an entire broadcast: “Yes,” “no,” “mercy” and “Polish sausage.”
Ernest Wilkins: A warm hug from yours truly that lasts juuuuust a little too long. (I’m very passionate.)
Elliott Serrano: Directing traffic in the U.S. Cellular Field parking lots.
Sarah Spain: Supernanny says he gets at least five minutes of “sit on the step in silence” time.
3. Convince Bob Brenly to stay/leave when his Cubs contract expires later this year.+
Marc Silverman: “Stay! Next year can be the summer of George, er, I mean Bob.”
Leo Ebersole: “Oh man, there are so many reasons to stay: The Cubs are … OK, yeah, I’m out of reasons.”
Ernest Wilkins: “Bob-o-link, there are a lot of smoking hot PR girls on work outings to gawk at! GAWK!”
Elliott Serrano: “Stay Bob! Who else us gonna play bass at the Cubbie Bear with Len Kasper?”
Sarah Spain: “Think how terrible you’ll feel if you leave just before the year the Cubs finally win … 75 games.”
4. Why was Charles Tillman called for two pass interference penalties against the N.Y. Giants?
Marc Silverman: He wasn’t “master of his domain.”
Leo Ebersole: Because apparently the Northeastern Wide Receiver is a gentle creature made of elf magic and tissue paper.
Ernest Wilkins: Because the white (and black-shirted) man is trying to keep him down! Damn zebras.

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Elliott Serrano: Peanut told the officials he thought “The Newsroom” was better than “Sports Night.”
Sarah Spain: Because these replacement refs are positively Caleb Hanie-esque at filling in.
5. Who said this: “Nobody needs to cry for me”?
Marc Silverman: Art Vandelay.
Leo Ebersole: Ernest Wilkins, after watching reruns of “Felicity.”
Ernest Wilkins: *gets note from boss* Um … I would like to apologize for my insensitive comments toward zebras.
Elliott Serrano: It was either Evita Peron or Chad “Ocho stinko” Johnson after getting cut on “Hard Knocks.”
Sarah Spain: An empathetic onion.