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1. How nervous are you for the Bears heading into this weekend?

Phil Thompson: If we have to be nervous about the Arizona Cardinals, why even go to the playoffs?

Tracy Swartz: Reading the Cards, outlook not good.

Alex Quigley: Not. If we win, postseason is in play. Lose, and Lovie is gone.

Jimmy Greenfield: Extremely nervous; it’s causing a flare up with my Irritable Growl Syndrome.

Bag Boy: I’m nervous. I’ll be more nervous that they’ll win the next two and changes won’t be made.

2. Why is Carlos Boozer playing better than last year?

Phil Thompson: When you finally ditch the Captain Weird Beard look, you play better with your team-mateys.

Tracy Swartz: He’s taken fewer trips … over gym bags.

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Alex Quigley: That Rose guy isn’t weighing him down anymore.

Jimmy Greenfield: He stopped taking his name literally.

Bag Boy: It’s easy to excel in the preseason. No, wait, the regular season started?

3. Which Chicago athlete will be next to complain about fans who boo?

Phil Thompson: Alfonso Soriano? But what do I know, I had doubled down on Jay Cutler being first.

Tracy Swartz: The Cubs. I think of them as “one” instead of “won.”

Alex Quigley: Hopefully, a Chicago Blackhawk.

Jimmy Greenfield: Carlos Boozer, of course.

Bag Boy: I’m going to say … someone irrelevant. Any member of the Bears offense.

4. Finish this sentence: When I think Bulls-Knicks, I think ____.

Phil Thompson: John Starks: in-your-face nemesis, bag boy extraordinaire and forefather of the punchable face.

Tracy Swartz: Everyone needs to chill, er, Melo out.

Alex Quigley: Hue Hollins is dirty. That call was crap.

Jimmy Greenfield: Could the NHL please stop ruining my winter?

Bag Boy: Derek Harper, Jo-Jo English, fighting at the commissioner’s feet, 1994.

5. What present would you by for a Chicago sports figure this year?

Phil Thompson: I’d give Brian Urlacher a can of Raid to get rid up that bug up his … oh, look, fruitcake.

Tracy Swartz: I hope the Bears got my holiday letter this year. The letter “W.”

Alex Quigley: “Madden 13” for Mike Tice.

Jimmy Greenfield: I’d buy ever member of the Bears’ offensive line some big boy pants.

Bag Boy: Blood transfusion for Lovie Smith. That corpse could use something in those veins.