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1. Why is Bears-Packers “personal” for Brandon Marshall ?

Phil Thompson: He meant “personals”: “NFL WR seeks husky Packers gal/clogger. Must be checked for worms.”

Tracy Swartz: He wants to get them ‘backs.

Alex Quigley: They killed his partner. Now he wants payback. Brandon Marshall stars in … “4th-AND-REVENGE!”

Jimmy Greenfield: He’s hoping to prove to Green Bay he’s worth taking a chance on when he files for free agency.

Bag Boy: Personally, he and Jay Cutler are the only Bears on offense worth keeping.

2. The Bears can beat Green Bay if they …

Phil Thompson: … play it safe — no turnovers! They’re up a TD on the Vikings without those picks.

Tracy Swartz: … choose to, rather than pick to.

Alex Quigley: … hit Aaron Rodgers early and often. Start in the parking lot, if possible.

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Jimmy Greenfield: … take out Aaron Rodgers. Don’t want it, hope it doesn’t happen. But this is a fact.

Bag Boy: … kidnap Aaron Rodgers? Seriously, I’m out of ideas.

3. What’s your Bears-Packers tradition?

Phil Thompson: Bag Boy puts on a show for us with Lombardi and Halas puppets. But then it always gets sexual.

Tracy Swartz: I yell at my cheese before I eat it. Lots of nom calling.

Alex Quigley: Driving down the center of State Line Road with a middle finger pointed northward. I am not joking.

Jimmy Greenfield: I pretend the Bears have a chance to win, then I watch the game.

Bag Boy: Looking at the Packers QB and saying, “Boy, I wish we had that guy!”

4. What will Jay-Z say to the Bulls when they play Brooklyn on Saturday?

Phil Thompson: “Yo, D.R., pass me the Roc, then we’ll go to the BK after the game — which still needs me.”

Tracy Swartz: I’m sure it will be a Bulls hit.

Alex Quigley: I bet he says “Yep!” in that upward-inflected way that he usually does, like, 37 times.

Jimmy Greenfield: “I’ve never heard any of Jimmy Greenfield’s songs either, you tell him that.”

Bag Boy: “Bad news: The Nets are still irrelevant. Good news: I’m married to Beyonce!”

5. Why is Patrick Kane hoping he doesn’t have to return to Switzerland?

Phil Thompson: What, he doesn’t miss Swiss? Too easy.

Tracy Swartz: He doesn’t want to have be neutral during the lockout.

Alex Quigley: He was extremely disappointed when he found out “playing for Biel” didn’t involve Jessica.

Jimmy Greenfield: He doesn’t like their cheese or cocoa.

Bag Boy: Well, he would have enjoyed it except HIS MOM WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME!