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Welcome to your afternoon celeb fix, where we tell you what your favorite – and not so favorite – stars are up to.

These first three stories are part of today’s daily celebrity text alert. Not a subscriber? We can fix that – text “Whoville” to 87708 right now to sign up.

— Oh how the mighty have fallen: David Hasselhoff to play porn star. (link to usmagazine.com)

— New CEO on The Office: See who’s the top dog this year at Dunder Mifflin.

— Whisper-whisper: Elizabeth Hurley joins Gossip Girl. (link to usmagazine.com)

The following headlines are today’s Red hots – everything you love about RedEye’s back page but bigger and online. For more celebrity news, go to redeyechicago.com/redhots.

— Take two: Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel

to give relationship another try. (link to usmagazine.com)

— Yarrrrr. Gimme me booty: Johnny Depp finalizing contract talks for 5th Pirates movie. (link to huffingtonpost.com)

— No surprises: Paris Hilton’s ex says their breakup was a long time coming. (link to people.com)

— Still not talking to strangers: Rick Springfield pleads not guilty to DUI. (link to okmagazine.com)

Celebrity tweet of the day:
Kellie Pickler (@kelliepickler): Say it with me…”Today WILL be great.” 🙂