What follows is a tour of our favorite spots around Chicago that, charitably, could be called so ridiculous they’re kind of fun. Indeed, a few have been around so long that the line between authenticity and cheesiness melted off long ago.
Rainbow
So kitschy it’s cool because … Cheap, fun clothes in all colors of (yep) the rainbow. (Thompson Center, 100 W. Randolph St.; 312-332-9327).
If shopping is an adventure, then cruising the Rainbow clothing chain is closer to a daredevil act. Packed to the rafters with cheap and cheerful merch, you never know what you’ll find here but you can be pretty sure it comes in more than a dozen colors. They don’t call it Rainbow for nothing. You can call ’em leggings, I say they’re stretch pants — but at two for $12 in 21 colors, you’re going to find them pretty hard to resist. Perhaps you’re wondering how many shades of orange in which they actually make women’s clothing? To find out, squeeze past the multi-pierced woman speaking Spanish, the two Asian girls or that guy asking a sales clerk, “Do you speak French?” You’ll see button-front henleys at $6 in pumpkin, tangerine and persimmon — and 21 other colors that aren’t orangeish. Look high and low here for any fabrics found in nature; we’re talking “man made” all the way. And there’s something Lewis & Clark about scrambling all over the store to try and locate the left boot, mate to the right one you’re thinking about buying. But at $24.99 in a cool carrot shade of faux suede, if you find that missing leftie, the boots are simply too good to pass up.
— Ellen Warren
Glendora House
So kitschy it’s cool because … An afternoon of polka, for all skill levels. (10225 S. Harlem Ave. Chicago Ridge; 708-425-3686, www.glendorabanquets.com).
Think you’re too cool for polka? Well, get over yourself. Our local polka dances, festivals and concerts may be the last bastion of carefree fun for those living in the post-cool world. Sure, they attract a mature crowd and one that is not super ethnically diverse. But we’ve found polka fans to be friendly and non-judgmental toward inept but enthusiastic newbies. We recently dropped in on an afternoon dance featuring the sounds of Michigan-based Dyna Brass. The band cranked out lively sets while dancers crowded the floor doing their own unique versions of the dance. The fact that no couple dances the same way makes diving in a breeze for anyone who can move to a one-two-three count. Veterans also seemed happy to show us a few steps. And if, like us, you work up a mighty hunger and thirst, there’s usually a tempting selection of sausages, soups and pierogi on hand, not to mention $4 beers to wash it all down. Glendora House will host polka dances every Sunday this month. Tickets are $10-$12.
For more on polka, see our story on National Polka Month on page 5.
— Monica Eng
Rainforest Cafe
So kitschy it’s cool because … Your kids will love it all, from fake thunderstorms to middling food. (605 N. Clark St.; 312-787-1501, www.rainforestcafe.com).
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Let’s be clear: The food at Rainforest Cafe is, well, let’s just say the grilled chicken on our visit tasted of nothing but a dirty grill and the carrots were so old they were curled and going soft. But there’s one caveat. Your kid will think this is the best food on earth. My 3-year-old stuffed herself so full of fried cheese sticks, grilled cheese, french fries and brownie sundae that her pediatrician, whom we saw afterward for a checkup, expressed alarm at her grossly distended belly. Rainforest Cafe itself, with its fake thunderstorms, plastic canopy of generic plantlife, animatronic elephants and gorillas, saltwater aquariums and endless gift shop, can be tedious, if you’re not a kid. And that’s just fine with Rainforest Cafe. Rainforest Cafe knows all you want, dear parent, is to be able to go to a restaurant with the kids and not deal with whining and untouched plates of food. And so Rainforest Cafe says, OK, we’ll make a deal. You get your trouble-free restaurant experience, we’ll take care of the rest. And the rest means gorillas pounding their chests, dinosaur nuggets and sundaes topped with sparklers and waiters yelling, “VOLCANO!”
— Trine Tsouderos
Tommy Guns Garage
So kitschy it’s cool because … A little rat-a-tat fun at Chicago’s gangster image. (2114 S. Wabash St.; 773-728-2828, tommygunsgarage.com).
The shtick: You’re at a Prohibition-era restaurant that illegally serves liquor. For three fast-paced hours, actors dressed as mob goons and flapper girls serve you hefty chicken, steak or pasta dinners (alcohol costs extra) before hopping on stage to perform a music-and-comedy review. The PG-13 double entendres will make you chuckle. We burst into tearful belly laughs during Tommy Guns’ signature skits, when: 1. A police officer raided the joint, and we audience members were urged to pretend we were at a revival meeting; and 2. The playfully irascible emcee dragged audience members on stage to camp their way through a radio show. Check your attitude at the door and you’ll have a blast.
— Eric Gwinn
Kit Kat Lounge and Supper Club
So kitschy it’s cool because … Lip-synching divas, movies and more.
(3700 N. Halsted St.; 773-525-1111, kitkatchicago.com).
You wonder what sort of mind divined this concept, which combines food, a full bar and glammed-up female impersonators lip-synching to popular tunes. Lip-synching can only entertain so much, but you’ll be amazed (and possibly envious) at the slinky outfits these divas, as they’re called, manage to shimmy into. But from the wink-nudge menu items (chile-glazed fish dubbed Salmon Sez) to the five giant screens that display movies (or, on Sundays, the latest installment of “Desperate Housewives”), this place is a blast. There’s a different discount daily (half-price martinis on Tuesdays, for instance) and best of all, the food is downright respectable, particularly the juicy blackened pork chop ($19) and the tender filet with truffle-oil fries (a mere $25). Note: This place doesn’t get energized before 9 p.m. at the earliest.
— Phil Vettel
Chicago Brauhaus
So kitschy it’s cool because … Beer, music, dumplings. Repeat. (4732 N. Lincoln Ave.; 773-784-4444).
For more than 40 years, folks have gathered at the Brauhaus to eat, dance and sing along to Teutonic faves and stylized American standards. For as long as I’ve been going here the food has never been great, but if you go with the right group, adopt the right attitude and stick to sausages and dumplings you can have a wonderful time. This is due largely to the giant steins of beer (about 17 imported ones, many on tap) and the always lively Brauhaus Trio, which plays six nights a week (they’re closed on Tuesdays) to a receptive crowd of young and old. Even if you are just stopping in for a beer and some dumplings at the bar, as we did on a recent night, you can enjoy the live renditions of “Take Me Home Country Road” and “My Way” sung with a German accent. Appreciative fans can send a cold beer or a shot of Jagermeister to the performers. And if take-home memories are what you crave, Brauhaus sells a large variety of collectible steins, the Brauhaus CD (featuring trio leader Gody) for $20 and of course the leftovers, which almost everybody ends up carting away.
— Monica Eng
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Do you have a favorite place that’s so “bad” it’s good — one that’s so long on kitsch you can’t help but smile, a place where you check your cool at the door and let yourself go with the, uh, flow, no matter how wacky? Tell us about it at [email protected].