Game on
Elliott Serrano’s “Geek to Me” blog is tackling RedEye’s latest tourney: Best Video Game ever at weblogs.redeyechicago.com/geektome/
SCOTT KLEINBERG
ELLIOTT SERRANO
BRIAN MOORE
JIMMY GREENFIELD
STICK FIGURE
TOPIC: Kyle Orton is to the Bears as …
… for today anyway, as Superman is to Metropolis.
… Ringo Starr is to the Beatles, except he doesn’t burn his fan mail.
… Britney Spears is to theL.A.-area legal system.
… Rex Grossman is to getting water for any Bear who is thirsty.
… Jimmy is to bourbon and hookers.
TOPIC: What were you doing the last time the Bears scored 48 points (1986)?
I don’t remember what I had for breakfast. You want me to remember that?
Trying to score for the first time, but she gave new meaning to the term “goal-line stand.”
Pegging my jeans and growing out my mullet.
Combing my hair.
Doing the “Super Bowl Shuffle.”
TOPIC: When I saw the Bears had scored almost 50 points, I …
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… figured someone working the graphics on Fox screwed up.
… looked outside to see if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were in my driveway.
… wondered how the Bears have gone from fantasy black hole to fantasy juggernaut.
… wished I hadn’t left the game at halftime.
… moved them up my list of best bears. Now they’re between Yogi and Teddy.
TOPIC: Least inspiring right now: Bulls or Blackhawks?
Blackhawks. They are on thin ice.
Depends: Unless Vinny Del Negro gets fired a week into the season, then it’s the Hawks.
Bulls. Even with Derrick Rose, I’m expecting the worst.
The Blackhawks, but only because it’s the real thing.
I now understand animal rights people. Why pick on defenseless beings?
TOPIC: Todd Palin attended Sunday’s NASCAR race. Imagine his thoughts.
“Man, this is just like my wife! Always going around in circles!”
“If I wanted to see pregnant women with guns, I would’ve gone to ‘SNL’ with the wife.”
“If John McCain were here, he’d be asleep by the third lap.”
“I really think I’ve got a shot with Tina Fey.”
“Imagine there’s no heaven …” David Archuleta is a genius.