If there were a Mt. Rushmore for snappy Chicago sports opinions, four of these five faces are on the mountain. Sorry, Bag Boy, you don’t make the cut. E-mail [email protected].
TOPIC 1: How would you have celebrated the Sox’s 1959 AL pennant?
TOPIC 2: Describe the red-hot Paul Konerko’s free-agent status right now?
TOPIC 3: What would your hand-painted sign say at Game 1 of the World Series?
TOPIC 4: What, if anything, did Sunday’s Bears game tell you?
TOPIC 5: Pick a nickname for the 2005 Northwestern football team.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Sharing the favors of a Hollywood starlet with Frank Sinatra.
Hey, he’s a Sox player until they lowball him with an offer of deferred money.
Same as it did in 1959. One side: “Go White Sox!” Flip side: “I Like Ike”
Red rum … Red rum … Red rum … Red rum … Red rum …
The Folding Chairs
LEO EBERSOLE
I’d invest my gambling winnings in radio stations and railroad companies and watch the money pile up.
The New York Mets are already in a bidding war with the New York Knicks.
“Tickets: $5,000. Seats behind stars of crappy new procedural drama on Fox: Priceless.”
It tells me the Vikings might want to rent wide receivers instead of boats.
2005 Big Ten Champions
WHIZZER
I’d be betting on the Dodgers in six.
Hotter than Tara Reid, not as hot as Jessica Alba–yet.
More Top Picks Computers
“I can’t believe I stole Jimmy’s tickets.”
Paul Edinger misses us more than we miss him. He also still misses in general.
The Producers
EVIL SUPERCOMPUTER
Probably convincing citizens that I’m not from outer space.
My calculations say he’s worth
$9 billion over 3 years with a team option for the fourth.
“Computers of Chicago: Wait for my sign. We attack the fleshy headed ones in the sixth inning.”
It may be possible to take the NFC North with a 6-10 record.
The “About to be Outscored 98-95 By Michigan State” Wildcats
BAG BOY
I’d tell 1959 NL MVP Ernie Banks to be patient. He’ll win one some day.
How hot is he? The Yankees want to overpay him, and he’s not even washed up yet.
“Pinch me.”
The Bears do indeed have a tight end.
The Penn State Regrets