Dear Ann Landers: Animal lovers gave you quite a roasting for the stand you took against keeping pets in the house when a spouse suffers from allergies. I’m on your side. One of your readers suggested allergy shots, which is not a bad idea — if they work. Mine didn’t.
My wife had two dogs when I married her. In an attempt to control my allergies, I took all kinds of drugs, including steroids. That chemical brew caused me to slide into a deep depression. My wife and her brother then pressured me to take anti-depressants, hinting that if I refused, it would be another symptom of mental illness. I refused anyway.
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Finally, I became disgusted, flushed all the drugs down the toilet, hired someone to clean the house and tried to keep the dogs outside. I soon found out that my wife was bringing the animals back into the house when I wasn’t home. This infuriated me. I gradually recovered, but our marriage did not. She took the dogs and left.
Believe me, parents would not hesitate for one single minute if they had to make a choice between keeping their children and keeping their pets. Why in the world is it such a big deal when it comes to spouses? The fact that there is any debate at all trivializes the spouse’s health problems, which, in turn, poisons the marriage. I speak from experience.
Tell your readers that if they are planning to get a divorce anyway, to just do it. Otherwise, get rid of the animals pronto. If you get any hate mail, Ann, you are welcome to send it to me.
— No Sneezing or Wheezing in Calif.
Dear Calif.: Thanks for the offer, but I think I can handle it. The truth is, a woman who really loves her husband is not going to put her dog ahead of her husband’s health. This goes for cats as well. Keep reading for more on this subject:
Dear Ann Landers: You recently printed a letter from a reader whose new husband was allergic to her pets. You told her that people are more important than pets and if her mate could not overcome his allergies, she should ship the pets off to a new home. Here is why you are wrong:
I have two cats. I’ve had them for nine years. They both give me unconditional love and affection, which is more than I ever got from any woman. They greet my guests, mind their own business and don’t damage other people’s property. They also make me feel loved and keep my blood pressure down. What do they ask in return? Two meals a day and to be let in and out of the house.
Now, you come along and tell me that if I marry a woman who wants me to get rid of my two longtime, faithful friends, I should just do it. Why, if I love animals so much, would I be so foolish as to marry someone who doesn’t care for pets? How your future spouse feels about animals should be a premarital test of compatibility.
Chances are that the wife who would insist I get rid of the animals would leave me sooner or later anyway. My pets love me and will never ask for a divorce. The only unhappiness I ever suffered from a pet was when one was killed by a car. Please don’t ask how much grief I have gotten from some of the women in my life.
— Dan in Branford, Conn.
Dear Dan: Methinks you are much better at picking winners in the feline category than you are at picking women.
If you ever consider marrying, I suggest that you look for a woman who is a veterinarian or works in that field, and I am not kidding.