It’s been a busy year, friends, and we’ve been keeping tabs on the famous and stupid–practically a full-time job. We only considered celebrities, no politicians or meddling Chicago baseball fans.
Michael Jackson
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, M.J. is taking top prize for the second year in a row. And we’re not even saying that he’s guilty of child molestation, because if we did, we’d only be guessing. No, he wins the Knucklehead of the Year award because after being accused of a similar crime in 1993, he failed to take steps to make sure he’s never suspected of anything so heinous again. Enough with the kiddie sleepovers and the Peter Pan stuff.
R. Kelly
Speaking of repeat winners, this guy also is claiming his second Knucklehead Award. Kelly has been on the hook for improper/ lewd/just-plain-wrong conduct with teenage girls at least four times in the past nine years. This year, he got in trouble, yet again, as photos emerged of a guy who looks like him engaged in sexual activities with underage girls.
Rick Salomon
The online gambling entrepreneur filmed himself having sex with hotel heiress Paris Hilton and then somehow “lost” the tape, setting off an online porn bidding war and a series of lawsuits. Stop suing people and take responsibility.
Tie: Liza Minnelli and David Gest
He accuses her of being an abusive, raging drunk, and she lashes back, calling him a liar and a thief. Ain’t love grand?
Courtney Love
For failing to take care of business regarding her addictions and general low-grade madness in time to prevent having daughter Francis Bean taken away from her. (That will happen when you get busted while trying to break into someone’s home and then get hauled in on drug charges.)
Ethan Hawke
For being a sad cliche of a man and throwing away his family–consisting of brainy beauty Uma Thurman and two beautiful babies–in exchange for a hookup with a 22-year-old with frizzy hair. Tsk.
Kobe Bryant
For not only cheating on his young wife, Vanessa, but for possibly committing rape to get what he wanted. And it doesn’t stop there. The Los Angeles Lakers star then bought a giant ring to prove his love to his wounded wife.
Michael Savage
For crossing the line from shock-jock bad taste to hateful jerk by saying “Oh, you’re one of the sodomites. You should get AIDS and die, you pig,” to a gay caller. His MSNBC show, “Savage Nation,” is no more, though he can still be heard on the radio.
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Steve-O
True, he starred on a show called “Jackass,” but one would hope there’s a difference between the TV personality and the real-life Stephen Glover. One would be wrong. Last spring, Glover told a Swedish paper he was going to swallow a condom packed with marijuana and hashish and smuggle it into Sweden. He was caught with pot and ecstasy, but he told a Swedish court that he didn’t smuggle the drugs into the country. This clarification came after he’d spent six days in the clink.