Dear Ann Landers: After several years of a miserable marriage, my wife and I were divorced. “Denise” had turned into an arrogant, greedy, deceitful shrew with no redeeming features. At the end of our marriage, she was a bitter, self-pitying mess. Her main goal in life was to turn our children against me, and with the help of a slippery lawyer, she did a pretty good job of it.
After a few years, Denise remarried. I was thrilled that she no longer had my name. It used to bother the daylights out of me the way she went around town pretending that she was still my wife.
My euphoria was short-lived, however. Her marriage lasted less than a year. In a matter of weeks, I learned that Denise had dropped the name of her second husband and taken mine back. I was burned up about this and let her know it. She was her usual nasty self and told me where to go.
My name is very important to me. I value and treasure it. I did not complain when Denise kept my name after we were divorced. I figured that since our children had that name it made sense for her to have it too. But after a SECOND divorce? This seems terribly unfair, if not illegal. Please let me know what you think about this.
— Bill From Boulder, Colo.
Dear Bill: What I think isn’t important. It’s what the law says that counts.
I consulted with a Chicago attorney, and this is what he said: “The law permits a person to assume and use any name he or she chooses, provided it is not used for improper purposes, such as evading creditors. Your correspondent’s complaint of ‘unfairness’ is not, according to the law, sufficient basis for objecting to his ex-wife’s use of his name.”
So, there you have it, Bill. It looks as if you are going to have to live with this annoyance.
Dear Ann Landers: Is it possible that dogs cry when they experience sadness? My husband thinks I’m crazy, but I’m certain our poodle, Trixie, cried real tears yesterday.
We entered Trixie in a dog show, and she was the cutest, most adorable, best-groomed dog in the show. She didn’t win a thing — not even an honorable mention. On the way home, she was unusually quiet, and her little face was wet with tears. I say she knew. My husband says I’m crazy. Yes or no?
— Anonymous, Please
Dear A.: Dogs can be sad, but they don’t cry when they fail to win a contest. Just give Trixie an extra cuddle. It will make her — and you — feel better.