Alongside vending machines and ads for detergents, there was a huge, bloody handprint on the wall in my laundermat The weird thing is, nobody seemed to notice. The handprint was on a poster for the movie “Identity.”
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I found it odd to see a film advertised where I wash my socks, but then I started to notice movie posters in the windows of businesses throughout my neighborhood. I saw “Charlie’s Angels” where I buy my bread and spotted the “Dumb and Dumberer” boys at my local bar.
I got to wondering about how film promotion companies select the businesses to hang their ads. Is it hard to persuade a psychiatric clinic to hype “The Hulk”? Advertisements for movies starring scary characters, like the gore-fest “Freddy vs. Jason” or “Olsen Twins: Passport to Paris,” must be difficult to place in upstanding businesses. And it must be hard to advertise for G-rated movies at shady businesses such as massage parlors or prairie dog kennels.
Here are my ideas for pairing films with the businesses in which they’re advertised:
– “Finding Nemo”–Long John Silver’s.
– “2 Fast 2 Furious”–Chicago traffic court.
– “Seabiscuit”– Chicago Glue Machine and Supply Co.
Maybe this marketing tactic is a conspiracy between Hollywood, detergent makers and the fashion world. For example–our laundermats advertise movies, our movie tickets advertise greasy, stain-inducing foods (popcorn/fruit punch), and the commercials before the main feature advertise clothing lines (Polo).
It all makes me want to wash my eyes out . . . with All, the Stain Lifter.
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