She lives close to her work, to day care for her infant daughter and to her elder daughter’s school. Her husband attends law school full time.
These are some of the factors that led Dr. Anjali Jain, a pediatrician and instructor at the University of Chicago hospitals, to return to work when each child was almost 3 months old.
“I also have a big commitment to my career,” said Dr. Jain, who earned her medical degree in 1992. “I didn’t want to give all that up.”
The pediatrician, who has been at the University of Chicago since 1998, is nursing her baby, who was born in July. Her older daughter is 5.
“I’m a good mother, but I also need the stimulation of my work,” said Dr. Jain, who says she and her husband, Vivek, have a team approach to child care. “I like being a role model for my daughters, in the sense that they should have choices in life, that all kinds of possibilities are OK for women.”
The doctor says the pressure solely on women to be caregivers is changing. “When both parents are involved, like we are, the workplace will change to be more conducive to raising children and working–and then society will change,” she said.
Societal pressures lag far behind the actuality, however. According to a 1998 study by the U.S. Bureau of the Census, 51 percent of married couples with children were both working. And that same year, 59 percent of women with infants were in the labor market.
“I worked up until the day of delivery and was completely conflicted about returning to work,” said Louise Felton, a senior vice president at Young & Rubicam San Francisco, a global communications company. Felton, married to architect Brian Brown, has a 1-year-old son.
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Now a partner in Young & Rubicam’s new consulting group, y&rbranding, Felton had been in advertising for 13 years. She returned to work in April when her son was 5 months old.
“I was 34 when my son was born, and all that time I worked very hard at my career–I was proud of it,” said the executive. “But once he was born, the bond I felt was immediate and powerful. The thought of being a stay-at-home mother was appealing.”
As her leave ended, Felton decided to go back to work on a more flexible schedule. “I realized I wasn’t ready to give all that up,” she said. “Living in California, having two incomes makes life a lot easier. And I have a very supportive husband, who works from home.”
Felton says she spends “more than 50 percent of my time as a mom, I still nurse him, and I don’t feel guilty–but I am aware of societal pressures.”
Nancy Arnesen of Wheaton, writing to the editor of the baiduhai, asks, “Why are men not perceived as selfish if they seek both personal and professional fulfillment? Why are there no parallel discussions of … guilt?”
“Guilt won’t change as long as there is a gender gap in earnings between women and men–the cost of men staying home is significant,” said Jared Bernstein, an economist with the Economic Policy Institute, a nonprofit think tank in Washington.
It’s a financial luxury to decide not to work, something low-income workers can’t consider, according to Bernstein. He served as adviser on a recent study, “Our Basic Dream: Keeping Faith with America’s Working Families and Children,” conducted by the Foundation for Child Development in New York.
The economist considers himself lucky: He and his wife, Kay Arndorfer, a manager at Advocacy Institute in Washington, adopted a baby girl in July. “There is nothing like being with your child,” said Bernstein, who took off one month in July and another in October and now works flexible hours to be with his 1-year-old daughter.
“I used to think single moms should be praised,” the new father said. “Now I think they should be awarded the Nobel Prize.”