I know there was a time this year when instead of being off someplace, I really wished I were back home, body sinking deep in that old recliner, a second vodka martini by my side, watching a ballgame and dozing off by the fourth inning.
There must have been a time.
One time.
I’ll think of it. But it won’t be easy.
Not the Great Barrier Reef. Not Antarctica . . .
Got it. Pine Bluff. Ark. It was late afternoon. It was hot. It was virtually deserted. The few living people I found in downtown Pine Bluff all had the same question: “What are you doing here?”
So, Pine Bluff. And one especially miserable day in Nepal.
That’s about it.
Hey, it’s a living . . .
Best natural wonder: Antarctica. I thought it would be just ice and snow and penguins. Sorry, Cross. It was spectacular.
Best natural high: A bungee jump 141 feet off a New Zealand bridge.
Highest natural best: Mt. Everest, Nepal.
Best natural cure for bashful bladder: Iguassu Falls, Brazil-Argentina.
Best local delicacy: Sheep’s-tongue souse, Nassau.
Strangest local delicacy: Juice from the rear segment of a red ant; Daintree Rain Forest, Australia.
Close: Mystery beef parts, served on individual charcoal grills; various Buenos Aires steakhouses.
Best beer: San Miguel (Nepalese version).
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Favorite restaurant (foreign): Cafe Matisse, Nassau. Everything was just right.
Favorite restaurant (domestic): Inn at Kristofers, Sister Bay, Wis.
Worst try: Three Monkeys, Hot Springs, Ark. Long-grain rice ain’t risotto, Bubba.
Best service: By Brian, a waiter; Union Square Cafe, New York. The Wife wanted to keep him; I settled for overtipping him.
Worst service: (tie) Amtrak’s Empire Builder dining car, and one particular First-class flight (Los Angeles-Chicago) on American Airlines. Common thread: They just didn’t care.
Price I’ll never forget: Bologna sandwich, $10.50; Murray’s Deli, Atlantis Resort, Paradise Island, Bahamas. Murray…It’s a bologna sandwich, Murray.
Best historic interpreter: Thomas Jefferson, Colonial Williamsburg. The guy was absolutely riveting.
Best train ride: Toronto to Vancouver on VIA Rail’s Canadian.
Still have never had a bad time there: Canada.
Best hotel room (domestic): Claremont Hotel, Seattle.
Best hotel room (foreign): Peninsula Boutique Hotel, Port Douglas, Australia.
Best hotel suite: Ocean Club, Paradise Island. Didn’t stay there. Wanted to. Forever.
Best blown photo op: Sports Illustrated was shooting its swimsuit issue on the Ocean Club beach. But I’d brought the wrong lens…and no binoculars.
Favorite drive: A Civil Rights history drive around Mississippi and Alabama. Nice countryside, good food and great people–still.
Best cruise: Antarctica, aboard Orient Lines’ Marco Polo. Perfect marriage of ship and destination.
Best thing about a cruise: Four new, lifelong friends made on Celebrity’s Galaxy as we sailed the Caribbean. We laughed, we sang, we drank, we made fun of everyone else, we bonded.
Worst thing about a cruise: After an early flurry of post-cruise e-mails, it was over.
Best play: “Dirty Blonde,” Broadway, New York.
Best show: Tango show at El Viejo Almancen, Buenos Aires. Sounds kind of geeky. It was, instead, astounding.
Best wildlife: Penguins, any breed, Antarctica.
Best wildlife without feet: Giant clams, Great Barrier Reef, Australia.
Best surprise: Door County, Wis. On the fourth visit, I finally figured out why people love it so.
Best thing about Arkansas: Night music–just folks playing guitars, mostly, and singing in harmony–on the courthouse square in tiny Mountain View.
Most interesting thing about Arkansas: Folks’ reactions when asked: “How do you feel about Bill Clinton?” Nobody was neutral.
Watched it, don’t understand it, haven’t tried it but really, really want to: Fly-fishing.
Favorite moment: A trishaw ride, late at night, the driver pedaling that thing through the deserted semi-paved streets of Katmandu, Nepal, at a speed bordering on crazy. Exciting. Sublime.
Road best traveled (left/British side): Queenstown to Glenorchy, along Lake Wakatipu, New Zealand.
Road best traveled (right/American side): U.S. Highway 80, Selma to Montgomery, Ala.
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Meet the staff
Tribune travel writer Alan Solomon has been hearing “How did you get that great job?” since 1994, and, frankly, you don’t want to know. In 2000, he explored three of the world’s seven greatest natural wonders–Antarctica, the Himalayas and the Great Barrier Reef–which were every bit as wonderful as they sound. He also took on New Zealand; watch for that story once his notebooks dry out. His e-mail address is [email protected].