Many more dates on the schedule like the Bears-Patriots and it won’t be necessary to rebuild Soldier Field. They could play in Hanson Stadium.
Question–Where’s that?
Answer–A lot closer than Champaign.
Q–Aren’t the Patriots building a new stadium too?
A–Yes, everybody is.
Q–How are they paying for theirs?
A–Owner Robert Kraft is privately financing the whole $325 million project.
Q–With his own money?
A–And plenty of help from patriotic Patriots fans.
Q–How did he do that?
A–He took a page from the Paul Revere story and yelled, “The British aren’t coming, but the Patriots are going to Hartford if you don’t come to the aid of your team.”
Q–Is he rich?
A–Not as rich as he will be soon.
Q–How is he paying for it, personal seat licenses?
A–Not a one. But he is selling 80 luxury suites for at least $100,000 a year. They are huge luxury boxes, twice as big as run-of-the-mill luxury boxes, catering to richer rich people than ever before, creating yet another level of distance between ordinary and extraordinary sports fans.
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Q–Where did Kraft make his money?
A–A long time ago, Kraft went to Harvard Business School and learned to see the trees in the forest. He founded International Forest Products and eventually developed one of the largest privately owned paper and packaging companies in the country. Now he is packaging pro football.
Q–How is he packaging his 4-9 team?
A–As the best 4-9 team in all of football, much better than the other 4-9 team, the Dallas Cowboys.
Q–Why?
A–Because the Patriots play in the rough AFC East, the only division with four winning teams. The Patriots are the only losing team, but that will change soon.
Q–Why?
A–Because this is the first year for coach Bill Belichick and he is still learning everybody’s name. He just re-signed ex-Bear Raymont Harris, for example.
Q–Why would the Bears be favored in this game by two points?
A–Hard to figure. Maybe the oddsmakers didn’t realize it is December, the cruelest month for the Bears. Since 1990, they have won fewer games in December than any other NFL team that has been around that long.
Q–What ever happened to the notion of playing well in Bears weather?
A–Hibernation.