Pumpkinhead Daley
In a city that hosted 1.3 million Grant Park revelers for the July 3 fireworks, Mayor Richard M. Daley nixed a free Grant Park concert by the Smashing Pumpkins, Chicago’s biggest and biggest-hearted rock band, for fear that it might draw 100,000 rock fans. When the band rescheduled the show as a charity fundraiser at Tinley Park’s New World Music Theatre, Daley magnanimously declared the concert date “Smashing Pumpkins Day in Chicago.” Mayor, you rock!
Fleadh, as in bleah!
The organizers of the summer’s Guinness Fleadh rock festival at Arlington International Racecourse raised fan abuse to a new level. On a humid 90-degree day, they banned coolers, provided just a few water fountains and charged $3 a bottle for water. They also posted only one schedule to indicate where and on which of the three stages each of the 43 acts would be playing, forcing people to buy a $10 program that proved inaccurate regarding starting times. On the other hand, crowds and long distances made moving between the stages close to impossible anyway.
Come to the — oh, never mind
With considerable flourish, Le Cabaret — a new nightclub high atop Lake Point Tower — presented former Chicagoan Ann Hampton Callaway in a standing-room-only engagement in March. The room was never heard from again.
And not all sleazy, tasteless morons are poor
Jerry Springer, who could be the Alewife poster boy for this and multiple other reasons, used his film “Ringmaster” to accuse his critics of being elitists who hate his show simply because they have something against the poor. News flash, Jerry: Not all poor people are sleazy, tasteless morons.
Money (That’s What I Want) Pt. 1
The Rolling Stones charged $300 and $150 (plus service charges) for its United Center concerts in April, the highest Chicago concert ticket prices ever. The band justified the exorbitant prices by touting the basketball palace’s intimacy.
Money (That’s What I Want) Pt. 2
In what apparently was a successful effort to make Garth Brooks’ new “Double Live” CD the first to sell a million copies in its first week (there’s some dispute over the counting), the country singer created a foil “First Edition” wrapper for the first million copies and participated in an unrivaled media blitz, including two live TV specials, one broadcast just to shoppers in Wal-Mart’s electronics section.
Babe, I’m leaving
Universal Pictures capped its lousy year by releasing the critically acclaimed “Babe: Pig in the City” on the same day as Disney’s “A Bug’s Life,” sticking with the release date because it had committed to fast-food tie-ins. Then when “Bug’s” trounced “Babe” at the box office in their opening weekend, the studio canned its film division chief, thus generating more bad publicity for the hapless talking-pig movie.
King of the windbags
“Titanic” director James Cameron capped the 3-hour-and-47-minute Oscar telecast by directing viewers to share a moment of silence in memory of the Titanic victims. Don’t mean to turn up our noses at tragedy, but somehow Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson managed more restraint when they won for “Schindler’s List” and “Braveheart,” respectively.
No-show DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio churlishly refused to attend the Oscars, apparently because the Academy had the gall not to rate his “Titanic” performance as high as those by Best Actor nominees Jack Nicholson, Robert Duvall, Peter Fonda, Dustin Hoffman and Matt Damon. Yo, Leonardo, it wouldn’t have killed you to demonstrate good sportsmanship and collegiality with others nominated from the film.
Butt in
In these ultra-sensitive times when objectifying women is less than cool, men finally found something to ogle shamelessly: Jennifer Lopez’s backside. Not only Entertainment Weekly but also Time magazine got into the act of admiring its shapeliness. What will the media discover next? Thighs?
Downhill Lewinsky
MSNBC, which hit the airwaves as a spunky, smart-alecky alternative to CNN, managed to undermine the most promising TV personality since David Letterman by insisting on non-stop Monica babble. Keith Olbermann, the bored-silly host of MSNBC’s “The Big Show,” fled the network in December to return to sports.
He could book “Nutty” O.J. Simpson
“Crazy” Howard McGee was one of WGCI-FM’s top radio personalities — until he allegedly hit his girlfriend in September, breaking her nose at her home in south suburban Richton Park, according to police. He later that week returned to the airways, partly to apologize, and was vilified by his listeners. Station management temporarily removed McGee, who might want to rethink going by the moniker “Crazy.”
A snub, by George
Lyric Opera of Chicago — as well as every other major opera house in America — officially ignored the centennial of George Gershwin’s birth by declining to stage his masterwork, “Porgy and Bess.” Has Lyric never heard of it, or is just not Germanic enough?
Gilligan and Mary Jane
Bob Denver, the 63-year-old former star of “Gilligan’s Island,” was busted in June after receiving a small package of marijuana at his West Virginia home. He received six months’ probation after pleading no contest. The sender? Reportedly, it was Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on the show.
Like a prayer shawl
Madonna’s appearance in ashram drag on the MTV video awards came off as a kooky costume number, offending some Hindus, suggesting she’s finally run out of viable fashion incarnations and inspiring nostalgia for lace underwear.
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Somewhere Chevy Chase is smiling
Magic Johnson’s talk show promised “60 smiles an hour” but inspired more grimaces and gags during its short life. Its biggest ratings came when Howard Stern, who ripped the show on his radio program, was a guest. A few months later, Stern was stinking up TV land with his Saturday night show, which lazily stuck a few cameras into his radio studio and let the ugliness fly.
As crass as a Garth Brooks promotion
When Columbia/Tri-Star got a look at how lame its “Godzilla” remake was, the studio actually boosted its marketing budget, blanketing the country with those “His foot is as big as this bus” billboards, and prevented critics from seeing it until the night before it opened. The move paid off, as more than $55 million worth of moviegoers got suckered into buying tickets over the opening Memorial Day weekend.
He’s the bomb
Bob Dylan won three Grammy Awards in February, which helped make up for a bizarre awards night in which R&B singer Usher introduced him as “Billy Dylan” and a guy with “Soy Bomb” scrawled on his chest jumped onstage during Dylan’s performance and did a wiggly dance.
A man full of himself
Though Farrar, Straus and Giroux failed to send reviewers the customary pre-publication galleys of Tom Wolfe’s long-awaited novel, “A Man in Full,” the publisher did manage to deliver copies of the elusive manuscript to the judges of the National Book Award. Last fall, just after the 742-page book was announced as a finalist in the fiction category, copies of the book magically appeared in stores.
Technical difficulties Pt. 1
During Loews-Cineplex’s six-month lockout of union projectionists, Chicago-area moviegoers suffered through countless screenings in which the film or equipment broke midway through the movie or the framing was so off that characters appeared to have been decapitated.
Technical difficulties Pt. 2
When WLS-Ch. 7 and network owner ABC became entangled in labor disputes with behind-the-scenes personnel in November, it resulted in numerous glitches with graphics and camera angles. Also, some reporters covering stories seemed to fill up the entire camera shot. Why? Because locked-out Ch. 7 workers tried to get into the picture while holding protest signs. Or did you really think Ron Magers’ head was that big?
The Ronny Rag
City health and building inspectors conducted a surprise inspection of Ronny’s Steak Palace, resulting in its brief closing and the removal of its large sign, which had been partially obscuring the Oriental Theatre’s marquee. How convenient that all this occurred just days before the Nov. 8 opening of “Ragtime.”
Ronny’s revenge
Livent, which owns the Oriental and is producing “Ragtime,” declared bankruptcy a couple of weeks later.
How you like me now?
Not exactly undercutting the notion that rap and rock stars are thin-skinned babies, Jesse Washington, editor in chief of hip-hop’s Blaze magazine, was pummeled in November by four men, allegedly including hip-hop producer Derek “D-Dot” Angellettie, weeks after Fugees guitarist Wyclef Jean reportedly pointed a gun at Washington following an unfavorable album review. Later in November, Spin magazine executive editor Craig Marks reported being beaten up by Marilyn Manson’s bodyguards after the newly androgynous rock star threatened him.
Why not try it with a talking-animal cast?
Gus Van Sant capitalized on his post-“Good Will Hunting” clout by choosing to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho” shot for shot but in color, with a new cast and with the addition of Norman Bates acting in one scene as if his middle name were Master. Colorization is cheaper and less yucky.
You can sleep more comfortably, too
General Cinema opened the nation’s first Premium Cinema theater in its Yorktown 18 complex in April, with a $15 ticket covering comfy big seats, free popcorn and food service. Too bad there’s nothing premium about the movies that show there, from the opening “Mercury Rising” to the recent “Jack Frost.”
Have you driven a musical lately?
The renovation of the Oriental Theatre is as gorgeous as advertised, but that Ford logo at the bottom of the theater’s marquee sure looks tacky. And the central prop of the theater’s inaugural show, “Ragtime,” is a Model T Ford. Coincidence?
Next week: Unsanitary bathrooms!
It was bad enough that WBBM-Ch. 2’s “Eat, Drink and Be Wary” expose of area restaurants treated viewers to hidden-camera shots of roaches, people placing food that fell on the floor back in play for public consumption and others sticking their fingers in meals to see if they were hot enough. But did they have to do it at breakfast time? Yah.
Just a spoonful of Morrison
Oprah Winfrey deserved congratulations for bringing Toni Morrison’s “Beloved” to the screen. Too bad she acted as if a Nobel Prize would be a more appropriate reward. On her “Change Your Life TV” show and in a gazillion interviews and even a fancy coffee-table book, she made the movie out to be required viewing for every living American.
Reaping what you sow
Moviegoers are subjected to a lot of Hollywood garbage, but when a record $39 million of you rush to “The Waterboy” in its opening weekend, you get what you deserve.