Generously, the Bears might be 3-11 right now had Rick Mirer been the quarterback for every game, which still hardly is the stuff of dynasty, barely the stuff of illusion.
Mirer would seem to be at least as competent as Todd Collins of Buffalo, and the Bills have won a half-dozen games, though not the one Sunday at Soldier Field.
The short of it is Mirer is back, maybe even as a starter in the Bears’ last two games, too little too late to acquire the top draft choice for the Bears, no matter how irretrievably Mirerish Mirer still may be.
“It’s not like I was kicked out to the curb,” Mirer said.
When the Bears needed Mirer to win games, he couldn’t. And now that they need him to lose games, the danger is he actually may be able to win some.
“I feel a lot better about my knowledge now,” Mirer said. “The terminology, the philosophy of offense, it has all gotten better over time.”
Since nothing Mirer has said about his ability has been true so far, there should be little concern that he is anything more than what he was when last seen, the worst quarterback in the history of the Bears.
“Signing some guy and giving him some money doesn’t just make it happen,” Mirer said. “I mean, I’m in Year 5, but in this offense, I’m more like a rookie.
“I’ll get nothing but better in this offense. Given the opportunity, I think I can do well. I know I can do well.”
Still, as weird as things have been through the whole Mirer-Erik Kramer-Steve Stenstrom toggle and twitch, one of them could very well ruin what little chance the Bears have left at either Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf in the draft.
It was not Mirer’s fault that the Bears beat Buffalo. The blame goes to Kramer, who tried early to give the game away, but not even two interceptions could induce Collins to stop killing worms with his passes or for Bruce Smith to bother rushing the passer.
“You try to win every game,” Kramer said, “not attach too much else to it.”
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That will have to do for an apology.
Buffalo had the right idea: Out of the playoffs, get the best draft position you can. Quit before kickoff.
The Bears, despite becoming officially the worst defensive team in franchise history by giving up their 380th point of the season, not only played like the game mattered but gloated and pranced.
I wonder if the more appropriate response might not be to blush after a sack rather than preen as Anthony Marshall did after each of his, or strut like Jim Flanigan after a fourth-down tackle or crow for applause like Bryan Cox. The problem with showcasing such rare successes is that it recalls the more persistent failures.
If you can’t dance giving up 55 points, you shouldn’t dance when giving up only three.
This has a Wannstedt Through the Looking Glass feel to it, this resurrection of Mirer. Off with his head, on with his head.
“Rick will get a lot more playing time,” Dave Wannstedt said.
How much more?
“More than today.”
Will Mirer start instead of Kramer?
“We’ll have to see.”
Mirer took nine snaps, threw the ball three times, completed one, 9 yards for a first down, an achievement greeted by derision from the stands rather than appreciation.
Mirer started the season as a new broom and should be ending it as an old mop if not for Wannstedt’s curious reinspection.
A showcase for a trade? A last look at a bad idea? With Kramer and Stenstrom free agents, giving work to the only quarterback under contract? A stubborn refusal to believe that the judgment that brought Mirer here could be so far off?
“Everybody wants a quick solution,” Mirer said. “I knew how much I had to learn. I tried to make it work and it didn’t, and here we go again.”
Yep.