Years after graduation, deep into alumni-hood, an Ohio Stater and a Michiganian were arguing over whose school deserved to be in the Rose Bowl. The Big Game had ended in a 10-10 tie, Michigan coming back, nearly winning on a late field goal.
Both teams remained unbeaten. Ohio State had been to the Rose Bowl the previous two years. The Rose Bowl was then the only reward for a Big Ten season.
The Wolverine was a dentist, the Buckeye a sportswriter. That Wolverine’s fingers were inside the mouth of this sportswriter’s young son, an emergency patient because of a slippery skateboard.
My position was that Ohio State had been ranked No. 1 all year, was the better team and had a better chance of winning the Rose Bowl, something Big Ten teams are still not entirely adept at doing.
And the Buckeyes would have beaten Michigan if Woody Hayes had a brain, if he hadn’t run Archie Griffin’s legs off in the second half, if he had thrown a pass before he had to, so that when he finally did allow one to be thrown, it wouldn’t have been intercepted.
The dentist’s position was that fair is fair, and Michigan could have won the game if Bo Schembechler had run one more play before trying the field goal on third down. And besides, it sure felt like a victory.
The Big Ten athletic directors had agreed with me. Ohio State would be going back to the Rose Bowl.
“It’s all jealousy,” the dentist grumbled, giving my son’s repaired tooth a tug for emphasis.
Before I could respond that being jealous of Michigan would be like being jealous of rodents, my son gagged and coughed out the Wolverine’s fingers and whatever else was in his mouth.
“Hey, fellas,” my son appealed. “Please don’t take it out on me.”
I don’t get in Michigan-Ohio State arguments much anymore. Hayes is gone. Schembechler is removed. Some team from Florida is always winning the national title. The Rose Bowl became a neighborhood door prize.
For the 25th time in the last 55 years, the Big Ten title is at stake in Saturday’s game in Ann Arbor. Maybe more than that. Maybe a national championship, something the Big Ten has not won since Ohio State did it in 1968.
That is why I will be rooting for Michigan. Michigan big. Michigan, yes.
It is not as if Michigan needs my endorsement to win, not as long as Ohio State has John Cooper as coach, but I offer it sincerely.
I believe there is verse on this. No greater love hath one man than to give up his spite for his conference.
If Michigan goes to the Rose Bowl ranked No. 1, as it surely will with a victory, it still may take some disorder elsewhere to make a national title possible, not to mention Michigan actually winning a bowl game.
Florida State will have to stumble. Nebraska possibly as well. And the Rose Bowl will have to provide an authentic opponent with a substantial ranking, UCLA the best choice.
But none of this happens if Ohio State wins, just as the last two years, the Northwestern years, Michigan beating Ohio State eliminated the Buckeyes from a chance at the national title.
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I like to think I am above petty vindictiveness, as all decent Ohio Staters are.
Maybe next year, when the Rose Bowl gets into the Alliance elimination, loyalties can return to where they belong.
Mixing Michiganians and Ohio Staters is, after all, an unnatural business, like sticking your fingers in the mouth of someone else’s child.
Even to this day, I am of the opinion my son could have done the world a favor by biting down instead of spitting up.