Assume the position.
“We are not going to bury our heads between our legs and give up,” said linebacker Bryan Cox.
Wouldn’t think of asking for that. More of what I had in mind was prone, with pennies on eyes, hands folded around a lily.
History will determine whether this is the worst Bears team ever, and the competition is formidable. The Bears have had worse coaches than Dave Wannstedt, worse secondaries than this handful of scattered lunkers, worse quarterbacks than Rick Mirer–uh, give me a minute on that one and I’ll come up with a name–worse receivers, worse blockers, worse tacklers and worse runners.
It is just that the Bears never had them all at the same time before.
“What I like,” said Cox, “is through all the negativity, all the kicking around we’ve been through, no one is pointing fingers.”
Nothing so specific is needed. A general wave of the hand will do. A glance. A nod.
Not only couldn’t you swing a dead cat in the Bears’ locker room without hitting somebody at fault, you would have to kill the cat yourself.
The Bears would drop it, not be able to catch it or be allergic to it.
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Larry Rakestraw. That’s the name. Worse quarterback than Mirer. I knew I could think of one.
There is a distinct and shared aroma about this Bears team, from the planning to the execution, from the owning to the caring, from the first fumble to the final interception.
It shall not get sweeter soon.
“We’ve got a good group of guys,” Cox said, “hard-working guys.”
Guys who wouldn’t think of outright mutiny, who would not try to fashion some kind of players-only solution since the players are the problem.
These guys play professional football like hobbyists, like this is their other job, like they just got together in the parking lot, like they are playing a prank on the league.
Would security please remove those impostors from the field? The real Bears will show up any minute now.
“Our guys are trying like heck,” Wannstedt said.
Ooops. There goes a perfectly good excuse.
Here’s a poser. Why would you promote your second-string quarterback and then not let him play quarterback?
“We did what we thought we had to do to win the game,” Wannstedt said. “What happened is not a reflection on what Rick could or could not do.”
Mirer completed more passes than he didn’t, it must be admitted, not many of them forward and only two of them to the other team. Mostly he pretended to be a turnstile, handing the ball and the responsibility to someone else.
“I guess we had more faith in our running game than our passing game,” Wannstedt conceded.
Mirer was sacked five times and fumbled once. If he were a working man and turned in his time card, he would not be paid this week.
“We seem to take turns making mistakes,” Mirer said.
I’m through picking on Rick Mirer. I promise. It’s like stepping on a gerbil. If Wannstedt treats Mirer like a non-quarterback, that’s enough.
“We have to be better earlier,” Mirer said.
How about August?
Honestly, the Bears had a plan to beat New England (and all you can think is you’re glad they weren’t in charge of Normandy). The plan was to control the ball and rush the passer. Not full of imagination, but baby steps, baby steps.
“We did a good job until that 70-yard run,” said Cox of Curtis Martin’s fourth-quarter touchdown.
That’s like the survivor of a falling elevator explaining things were going fine until it got to the basement.
“Let’s not kid ourselves,” Wannstedt is fond of saying, his version of Mike Ditka’s “Who you crapping?” I agree. Let’s not.
This is a very bad football team. This is a team that will not get better. This is a team that can only continue if it continues to kid itself.
“We got in their face,” said cornerback James Burton. “They made some catches here and there, but I don’t think they hurt us.”
This is a team reduced to taking comfort in insignificant details.
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“We got some hits on Bledsoe,” Cox said. “Drew will wake up a little sore tomorrow.”
He will also wake up 4-0.