Appropriately, no trumpets greeted the entry of quarterback Rick Mirer into the Bears’ lineup, though groans may sound a little like a brass band if filtered properly, like through clenched teeth.
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Mirer’s initiation was not the arrival of a Bears savior as much as the moving of furniture in Castle Wannstedt, an ever more bleak and solemn place.
“I was looking for a spark,” Dave Wannstedt said, though he might have as much chance of getting one by striking chalk against wet rice as finding it in Mirer.
Desperation will pass for good sense when the abyss yawns, and the Bears are in such a free fall that not even Mirer can add to the ache.
It doesn’t matter if the Bears win, lose or change socks from here, so whether Mirer is the quarterback or the bus driver, it is all the same.
“I’ve finally got some film to look at,” Mirer said. “At least I got dirty.”
That would also be the summary of his day’s achievements.
Mirer was asked to save the Bears from a nine-point loss to Detroit Sunday and he did just that, turning it into a 25-point defeat. In a season already upside down, it is just this sort of mathematical gymnastics that will earn Mirer the job as starting quarterback.
“That’s what I was brought here to do,” Mirer said.
Let’s not get too picky about this, but Mirer was brought here to do a bit more, like save Wannstedt’s career for one thing, to be the building block of the future for another, to show, at the very least, actual measurable competence, not to, just as an example, fumble his first moment of importance, a simple snap from center on fourth down and an inch.
“My fault,” Mirer admitted, likely not the last time he will deserve the blame.
Not to, a bit later, throw an interception into the hands of former Bears scapegoat Mark Carrier.
“I have a lot of friends on the Bears,” Carrier said. “I feel sad for them.”
Pity. The Bears are reduced to pity. And genuine animosity.
The Bears trudged off the field to cruel and scatological suggestions from fans, some of them actually sober, Wannstedt getting the brunt of the hostility. Even the unfortunate Rashaan Salaam, out for the season with a broken leg, was booed as he limped to the locker room.
Only Raymont Harris escaped insult, maybe the only Bear who deserved approval.
“I don’t blame the fans for booing,” Harris said. “We were terrible. If I were a fan, I’d be booing too.”
The Bears should be grateful that fans still care enough to boo. Indifference is next, and then absence.
What needs fixing? Not much.
“Execution, penalties, turnovers,” Wannstedt said.
Things have not been this bleak for the Bears since another former Notre Dame quarterback, Rusty Lisch, was promoted to starting QB, and that team was only a year from winning the Super Bowl.
This team may be a week away from being mulch.
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Let’s understand how this works. Erik Kramer got the chance to beat Green Bay, the Super Bowl champs, on the road. Now Mirer gets the chance to beat New England, the Super Bowl losers, on the road. An equal-opportunity punisher, this Dave Wannstedt.
By the time the New Orleans Saints and Mike Ditka get back to town, maybe Steve Stenstrom will be given the chance to save Wannstedt’s career.
The Bears will be 0-5 by then, the Saints too, probably, but that is what intrigue there is to look forward to, whether Ditka or Wannstedt is dumb enough to lose the rights to Peyton Manning by beating the other.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.