I learned quite a bit from Barbara Blaine.
Blaine founded the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests that first met in 1988 at a Holiday Inn in Orland Park. She died Sunday at age 61.
I thought she helped give voice to thousands of adults who summoned the courage to confront the sexual abuse they endured as children.
From Blaine I learned what it means to be a survivor instead of a victim. She also helped show me that truth will prevail despite the best efforts to conceal it.
We weren’t friends, just professional acquaintances. I first got to know her in 2002, when she was president of SNAP. At the time, I was a reporter investigating past incidents of sexual abuse of children by clergy in the Roman Catholic Diocese of Joliet, which includes Will County.
As depicted in the Oscar-winning movie, “Spotlight,” this was a time when a Boston Globe investigation revealed the widespread scope of the issue. It was difficult enough to comprehend that children were sexually abused by trusted clerics.
It was overwhelming to realize church hierarchy tried to maintain secrecy by reassigning abusers and attempting to discredit accusers who stepped forward.
Blaine was a reliable source as the story unfolded. SNAP could be counted upon to provide quotes and reaction as developments occurred. Blaine and SNAP offered analysis from the perspective of those who were sexually abused.
There were other groups that offered different perspectives. One group was dedicated to increasing the role of laity in the church. Another organization’s mission was to promote conservative orthodoxy, and it considered homosexual activity by priests to be the biggest threat to the church.
Many tried to leverage the crisis to advance a cause. There were those whose agenda was to advocate for ordination of women as priests. Some urged church leaders to allow priests to marry. SNAP seemed to me to be most focused on protecting the safety of children moving forward.
I was often skeptical of SNAP’s claims about the extent of abuse. I recall Blaine speaking in a calm, measured manner about the numbers of children abused and the likelihood that many offenders remained priests with access to children.
As more and more survivors came forward, I began to realize SNAP’s estimates were conservative, not exaggerated. As new allegations surfaced involving active clerics, I believed the continuing risk to children was real.
I understood why many incidents went unreported for so long. I recall listening to first-hand accounts from about 50 survivors. Many were unprepared to deal with the past until their own children reached the age at which their parents were abused.
I sensed an overwhelming desire by survivors to ensure their children — and all children — would be protected. Their essential mission was to prevent what happened to them from ever happening again.
It sounds obvious. But the Roman Catholic Church is an entrenched, institutional bureaucracy. Change simply does not occur overnight. Acknowledging the truth would be to admit fault and assume greater liability. Self-preservation is a mighty force that resists reform.
Blaine took on powerful forces and prevailed.
To me, she seemed focused on serving the needs of survivors. I thought she was a patient listener, one who understood emotional pain and recognized when mental health counseling might help someone. I also thought she possessed great skills as an activist and organizer.
By 2006, I had moved on from the stories of sexual abuse by clergy. I took on different roles, as an editor and later, in public relations. Blaine and I reconnected last year when I returned to journalism full-time.
We were both invited by West Suburban Call To Action to talk to a group in Wheaton one Sunday about “Spotlight.” We both arrived early to the event, but didn’t get a chance to talk much. Blaine, I recall, sought a private room to take a scheduled call with someone setting up a SNAP chapter in Africa.
We engaged in a rewarding hour-long panel discussion and took questions from the audience. She invited me that day to appear as a speaker at the 2016 SNAP Conference in Chicago that June. I followed remarks by Marty Baron, the Washington Post editor and former Boston Globe editor portrayed by Liev Schreiber in “Spotlight.”
Blaine delivered a presentation immediately before Baron, and I remember she talked about love and healing. Survivors experience a range of responses, I learned, from anger and resentment to anxiety and depression.
Unlike a reporter who covers their story and then moves on, survivors never get to walk away from their troubled pasts. They cope with their experiences every day for the rest of their lives. A few lucky ones find peace.
I reconnected with Blaine two years after I had a near-fatal heart attack. I had gained a deeper appreciation for what it means to be a survivor instead of a victim.
Victims, in my opinion, use unhealthy coping mechanisms. Withdrawal, alcohol and substance abuse, difficulty maintaining close relationships — these are common conditions among people who have sustained trauma.
It’s rational to justify self-destructive behavior. Many feel permanently damaged and believe they can never be whole again. Their lives lose meaning and purpose. I think that’s how victims react.
Survivors, on the other hand, come to understand that adversity is ever present in life. Their character is defined not by traumatic events that happened to them, but in how they respond to challenges.
I thought Blaine carried herself with dignity and determination. She devoted a great deal of energy to helping others. She led by example.
I think what made her most extraordinary was that she helped provide healing on a daily basis to survivors with experiences similar to hers. It must have taken great strength to process so many stories involving pain and trauma, then offer comfort and guidance.
I consider myself lucky to have known such a selfless person and hope her legacy continues to inspire the many people she helped and served.