Mike Royko

''Here I thought the communist threat was over,'' Slats Grobnik said. ''But now I see that we got commies all over Illinois.'' We have? ''Sure. And they even got a...

They want to make us the kind of deal we can`t refuse. In walk three big, established corporations that operate major hotels and gambling casinos. They say they want to...

If I needed another reason not to buy a Japanese car it would be the shameful way that some Japanese are treating a fine American lad named Konishiki. Actually, Konishiki...

Bill Clinton was caught in the act. The evidence was overwhelming. So he immediately pleaded guilty, expressed remorse, and said he wouldn`t do it again. In case you missed it,...

Paul Tsongas is being praised for making so gracious a withdrawal speech. But he`ll get no praise from me. I`m tired of hearing politicians stand up and pretend to be...

When I got to work Wednesday morning, I found a note from one of the more militant feminists on the staff. She gleefully reminded me that only a week ago...

It`s unlikely that the thought has even crossed George Bush`s mind. He`s one of those positive thinkers. But with recession gloom spreading and national grumbling growing to a roar, he...

Until a few months ago, I didn`t know Hillary Clinton from the sandwich maker at the corner White Hen. But now I know that she grew up in Park Ridge,...

''Are you gonna endorse any candidates in the primary?'' Slats Grobnik asked. ''I`d like to know so I know who to bet on, since you usually back losers.'' No, I...

It appears that a new tradition has been added to the traditional St. Patrick`s Day Parades that are held in cities with large Irish-American populations. Gay groups now demand the...