Mike Royko

Most of us have been in the uncomfortable position of being unwilling witnesses to a domestic quarrel. It can happen at a party, with a couple suddenly snapping at each...

It could be that your phone rang recently and a man said something like: ''Hello, my name is John and I`m from Project Uplift with Elite Forces of the 173rd...

''Everything`s upside down,'' said Slats Grobnik. Then I don`t think the barkeep should let you have another one. ''No, I mean in this election. We got Democrats acting like Republicans.''...

It is humiliating. In fact, it might be the most humiliating experience I`ve had during more than half a century of being a Cubs fan. Here we have a team...

Some sequels work, but others don`t. For example, ''Godfather II'' was a hit. But ''Godfather III'' was a clinker. The original ''Alien'' movie was a smash. The last one was...

The young woman who works with me raised a question concerning etiquette. ''Would it be permissible for me to phone someone and call him a complete (obscenity)?'' That depends on...

Rock music has been more than a form of entertainment, the experts tell us. It`s a powerful social, political and moral force. It has had a global impact on the...

The rumormongers in Washington have been spreading the story that President Bush might dump Dan Quayle. But Bush has put an end to that malicious talk by flatly saying he`s...

In his convention speech, Gov. Bill Clinton invited Americans to come visit his home state of Arkansas. He said they`d enjoy it. Having been there several times, I agree. Especially...

''I see where a lot of those Ross Perot people say they ain`t going to quit,'' said Slats Grobnik. ''But they ain`t got a candidate. So if they`re interested, I...