Mike Royko

The phone jarred me awake. The familiar voice on the other end said: ''Hey, grab your socks, fall out on the road, let`s celebrate.'' Slats, what are you talking about?...

After 500 years, is there no end to the evil deeds of Christopher Columbus? Apparently not. We now learn that Columbus is behind the troubles at Cabrini-Green. This shocking revelation...

Many of us can sympathize with the sad fate of Sang Yeul Lee. Especially those who have stuck around until the bartender`s last call. Something like that happened to Mr....

Because this was the first full-blown talk-show political campaign, many traditional journalists fear that they have become irrelevant. For much of the campaign, they were stuck in the cheap seats,...

I`m always appreciative when a reader calls with a usable idea for a column. It makes my job easier. This one came from a supporter of Ross Perot, who said:...

It happened almost four years ago. Or so the legend goes. A tall, lanky man walked a lonely beach near Kennebunkport in Maine. He was deep in thought, head down,...

''It`s finally over,'' said Slats Grobnik. ''And they did it again.'' Did what again? ''They didn`t level with me. Not one of the three did it. But I`m not surprised....

In addition to his many other character flaws, it now turns out that Gov. Bill Clinton is a thief. This shocking information comes to us from-of all people-the Bush-Quayle Re-Election...

Feeling sudden pain, a friend of mine sought medical help. Fortunately, a physicians building was nearby. He staggered into the first office, that of a Dr. Bushqual, and said: ''I`m...

Several polling experts were on my car radio, discussing the joys of discovering what the entire nation thinks by asking 1,000 people a few clever questions. Then the host of...