Mike Royko

After nervously clearing his throat, Slats Grobnik said: "So, you don't believe in tipping? Getting a little tight with the old greenbacks, huh?" Excuse me? "Tipping. You know, 15 or...

Possibly the best government employee we've ever had in Chicago and Cook County was a craggy-faced man named Charles "Cap" Sauers. If you haven't heard of him, that's OK. He...

Anybody who has trouble sleeping ought to envy Ronnie Hill, 22. Boy, can this guy sleep. Here's his strange story. Hill got up before dawn the other day to get...

Actually, it comes down to a question of etiquette: How one properly handles an uncomfortable social situation. The situation was this: Cari Hicks, 14, and two teenage friends had gone...

Now that President Clinton and the Republican Congress have vowed to be pals and work on the people's business, it would be nice if someone in that self-obsessed government city...

Among guys, there is no aggressive act so lacking in sportsmanship and fairness as a kick in the groin. And, I might add, few so nauseatingly painful. The phrase, "hitting...

So out of the blue, this guy Dave calls from Elgin and says he wants to tell us about how goofy people can be. He has this strapping son, Jeff,...

"What's the problem with all these party poopers?" Slats Grobnik asked. "Ain't they got nothing better to crab about?" What party poopers are these? "I don't know who they are....

Letters, calls, complaints and great thoughts from readers: Jim Schaefer, Chicago: Born and raised in Chicago, I am fluent in both Chiconics and standard English. My suburban friends often employ...

Although he's portrayed as a sexual creep, President Clinton isn't the only one who should be embarrassed by the Paula Jones case. The Washington media elite ought to be cringing....