Dave Barry

Ask yourself this question: Are you a guy of the male gender? If so, I advise you to report to prison immediately because you are violating a federal law. I...

As we approach the 1992 presidential campaign, the major concern of American voters can be summarized in one simple word: ''exploding urinal.'' At least the voters SHOULD be concerned about...

Without question, the most important invention in human history, next to frozen yogurt, is the computer. Without computers, it would be virtually impossible for us to accomploiwur xow;gkc,mf(&( Hold it,...

Today`s topic, in our series on Building Your Confidence, is: How To Give a Speech. If you are a human being or even a reasonably alert shrub, chances are that...

Summer is here again, and as the official spokesperson for the recreational boating industry, I`ve been asked to remind you that boating is a fun and relaxing family activity with...

Before I get to this week`s topic-which, as you have probably already guessed, is deciding which Wisconsin community deserves the title ''UFO Capital of the World''-I need to make a...

RECENTLY I WAS WATCHING TV, and a commercial came on, and the announcer, in a tone of voice usually reserved for major developments in the Persian Gulf, said: ''Now consumers...

Well, high-school seniors, it`s almost time for graduation, and that means you`re about to make the most important decision you will ever make, a decision that will determine the course...

Last week I witnessed a chilling example of what U.S. Secretary of Education Arthur A. Tuberman was referring to in a recent speech when he said that, in terms of...

When you have been an experienced, highly accurate professional journalist for as long as I have, you develop a ''sixth sense'' for spotting a News Trend that has the two...