Dave Barry

Summer vacation is almost over, so today Uncle Dave has a special back-to-school "pep talk" for you young people, starting with these heartfelt words of encouragement: HA HA HA YOU...

As you are aware if you follow international events, over the last year I have written a number (two) of columns about the worldwide epidemic of snakes in toilets. As...

Home Security. These are two words that we all should have professionally engraved on our brains, especially in light of the terrifying, Stephen King-esque nightmare that was experienced recently by...

In today's edition of The Science Nook we're going to discuss some exciting developments in the field of putting portholes in cows. But first we have a News Update concerning...

The time has come for unbiased observers such as me to make a fair and objective assessment of the first roughly 201 days of the failed Clinton administration. I would...

I am sick and tired of waiting for our so-called "leaders" to stop nattering about the federal budget deficit and instead roll up their sleeves and do something about the...

Technology is improving every facet of our lives. Take the facet of urinals. Not too long ago I was with my friend Roy in a hotel bar in Anaheim, and...

It's 6 p.m., and we're waiting for our 12-year-old son, Rob, to return from a quick bike ride. We're going to go out to dinner to celebrate the fact that,...

The thing I like best about being a journalist, aside from being able to clip my toenails while working, is that sometimes, through hard work and perseverance and opening my...

Like most people, I can always use an extra $7 or $8 million, which is why today I have decided to write a blockbuster legal thriller. Americans buy legal thrillers...