World Cup fever, LeBron James’ latest “Decision,” all-time Cardinals-hating Cubs guys and what to add to Leo XIV’s pope cave are among the latest topics in our summer sports smorgasbord.
All Cup, all the time
If you don’t have World Cup fever after watching Argentina play Cape Verde on Friday night, you should get a red card.
Or is it a yellow card?
I still don’t understand how that works after the red card given to U.S. striker Folarin Balogun last week came without a warning. According to experts I know who’ve seen every episode of “Ted Lasso,” the yellow-card/red-card thing was invented by referee Ken Aston at the 1966 World Cup. He stole the idea from a traffic light.
“I thought, ‘Yellow, take it easy; red, stop, you’re off,'” Aston said.
First of all, as a longtime driver in Chicago, yellow means “speed up or the guy behind you will honk or slam into your bumper.” Second, Balogun didn’t intend to do whatever they said he did, so he should’ve been given a “take it easy, already” yellow card.
And as someone who stopped watching “Ted Lasso” in Season 2 when the team’s owner began dating one of her players with no repercussions, I can attest the tournament has been captivating, even if nothing generally happens most of the time and the game clock ticks up instead of down as God intended.
The U.S. team has gotten most of the love here, naturally. But Mexico — which local bartenders tell me is Chicago’s co-home team — plays England on Sunday in a Sweet 16 matchup that could cause a massive area-wide celebration from Aurora to Cicero to Little Village.
Plan your fiesta accordingly.
Name game
Instead of calling the 250th birthday of the United States the semiquincentennial, can we just go with a catchier nickname like “America’s Deuce and a Half”?
Just do it
LeBron James’ handlers have not mentioned the Chicago Bulls as a potential landing site for the legendary free agent, which makes sense since James probably wants to go out on a winner. But if James really wanted to one-up Michael Jordan, his longtime rival for GOAT status, he’d sign an affordable, one-year deal to wear the same Bulls jersey as MJ and own the same town, at least for a while.
Though still beloved in Chicago, Jordan is far removed from the Bulls organization and rarely comes home. The closest we get is his statue, which new draft picks such as Caleb Wilson take their picture in front of.
James could bring a nightly buzz to the United Center that was mostly quiet the final months following the trades of Coby White and Ayo Dosunmu. Sorry, Norman Powell, but you’re not the Man.
And if the Bulls somehow were to make the playoffs, James would get credit for leading the way and mentoring Matas Buzelis. “The LeBron and Matas Show”? Sounds like a perfect buddy cop movie.
Does James really want to share top billing on his farewell tour with the likes of Steph Curry, Jaylen Brown or James Harden? Or should he come to Chicago and usurp the other GOAT. on his own court? Just do it.
History lesson
It should be noted that on the same June day in 2018 that FIFA announced the 2026 World Cup would be played in the United States, Mexico and Canada, the city of Chicago revealed a proposal to work with billionaire Elon Musk on The Boring Co., constructing an underground tunnel for a high-speed tram-like system from downtown to O’Hare. Then-Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel had declined to bid on being a World Cup site, citing one of his favorite mantras — protecting the taxpayers.
As we watch the World Cup host cities enjoy the atmosphere and spectacle of the world’s biggest and longest playoff tournament, we only can sit back and wonder how much we would’ve enjoyed shaving off a few minutes on a trip to the airport in that tunnel that never got off the ground. Emanuel was last seen sitting courtside at a New York Knicks NBA Finals game, while Musk, now a trillionaire, was serving up the MAGA agenda.
Think pink
RIP to Jim Anixter, the “Pink Hat Guy” at Wrigley Field, whose claim to fame was that he was a rich guy who wore a pink 1990 All-Star Game cap and sat behind home plate at Cubs games. Some Cubs employees cried when they heard the news. The Cubs should honor him with a pink-hat giveaway.
Pope-cave update
I’m still getting suggestions from Sox fans on what to give Pope Leo XIV for his Pope cave at the Vatican, which already is filled with gifts from people, including Pope Leo XIV jerseys, a World Series baseball from A.J. Pierzynski
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and other Sox, Bears and Chicago sports memorabilia, not to mention Aurelio’s pizza.So far the leader in the clubhouse is someone who suggested Mike Vasil send his magic wand to the pontiff. Other ideas include a ripped throwback jersey that Chris Sale destroyed with a box cutter, Paul Konerko’s comfy chair and an old pinwheel from the original Comiskey Park scoreboard.
Pope Leo insists he’s keeping up with the current team, so if there’s anything he’d like, please let us know.
Top 10 list
Pete Crow-Armstrong may be a villain to many Cardinals fans, but he has never said or done anything remotely offensive to the team or its fans. It’s easy for White Sox and Dodgers fans to vilify him. While not everyone’s feelings on the Cardinals are stated out loud, here’s our list of the Top 10 Cardinals haters from Wrigley Field from the last 60 years.
1 Dusty Baker; 2. Carlos Zambrano; 3. Bill Madlock; 4. Joe Maddon; 5. Chairman Tom Ricketts; 6. Clubhouse man Tom “Otis” Hellmann; 7. Matt Clement; 8. Pitching coach Larry Rothschild; 9. Eric Karros; 10. Steve Trachsel.
Anthem request
The debate over the U.S. soccer team using John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” as its theme song is silly. It’s a perfectly fine song, even if it uses West Virginia as an avatar for the U.S. But if FIFA was looking for a true American classic by an iconic band that’s easy to sing and reflects our love of country, it should be “Ripple” by the Grateful Dead.
Star-Spangled rip-off
MLB is celebrating the American pastime Sunday by making almost every team’s broadcast exclusive to the NBC family on what’s being called “Star-Spangled Sunday.” NBC, Peacock and NBCSN will carry all 15 games.
That means you probably will have to pay for an app if you’re a Cubs or White Sox fan, even if you already pay for another service to watch your favorite team. Or you can enjoy the weather and listen to the Cubs’ Pat Hughes and Ron Coomer or the Sox’s Len Kasper and Darrin Jackson on the radio for free.
Future shock?
Is it just me, or would former Cubs catcher Willson Contreras look good in a White Sox uniform getting into a shouting match with someone over something and then flipping his bat after homering the next time up?
Workplace rules
Cubs fans tend to boo players only for a perceived lack of hustle, not for being in slumps. Alex Bregman discovered that last week and was booed mildly in his next game at Wrigley Field.
Both President Jed Hoyer and manager Craig Counsell suggested the media and fan reaction was overblown, and Hoyer said Friday that Bregman’s reputation should override any concerns from fans.
That may be true, but if a player chooses to play in Chicago, he should know part of the deal is you can never get caught not giving 100% while doing your job. It’s a working-class town that expects its athletes to be like them, no matter their job.