More than anything, Christmas is a time to step outside of yourself and think of others. I think even Santa would agree.
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If you are blessed to be celebrating a healthy, happy holiday, consider extending some of that good fortune to others in need. And there are many who could use a helping hand.
Here’s just one story, just one opportunity to “do unto others …” this holiday.
Paula Dettmann cherishes a traditional Christmas, replete with decorations and seasonal foods, surrounded by family and friends. She loves hosting and tending to all the customary details.
But little about this year has been traditional. This year, Paula says she’ll be grateful to simply be home for Christmas.
It has been a long, difficult six-month journey through pain, suffering and disappointment for the 66-year-old Tinley Park mother of three.
Back in May, Paula was living her best life, running for pleasure, tending to her gardens, planning more hikes with her husband out west and coddling her four grandchildren, one of them a newborn, when she was stricken with a spinal infection.
Her back pain became so severe, an ambulance had to take her to Palos Community Hospital, where emergency surgery was performed in the middle of the night, said Craig Dettmann, her husband of 40 years.
She remained critical for weeks, he said.
Miraculously, Paula pulled through and six weeks later was able to move to a rehabilitation facility. While there, however, she suffered a setback and had to be transferred to Northwestern University Hospital in Chicago, he said. She spent the next three months being treated for the infection, which had spread to her brain, causing more complications, he said. She is rehabilitating at Meadowbrook LaGrange.
“She has been recovering very, very slowly, incrementally,” Craig said. “She has totally lost the use of her lower legs and will likely be in a wheelchair the rest of her life.”
Paula said the hardest part of the ordeal has been being away from home since that ambulance ride in May. She desperately wants to be back there for Christmas, and Craig, daughters Amy and Molly, and son Craig Jr. are desperately trying to make that happen.
“It’s everything,” Craig said. “She was crushed she couldn’t be home for Thanksgiving. Paula always had a big family dinner for all the kids. We’d spend the whole afternoon and evening together. She was very disappointed we couldn’t do that this year. But we all went up to (the rehab facility) to be with her.”
Molly said, “My mom loves Christmas. She loves hosting everything.”
Pillars of the community — Paula was an active member of St. George Church; Craig has coached community sports — they are blessed with many good friends in the area, some of whom have made meals and supplied gift cards for restaurants.
Longtime friend Joan O’Malley said Paula is the friend so many have turned to in their time of need, and people are happy to return the favor.
“She has a way of getting you to focus on what’s important in life,” she said. “She is a woman of great faith and continues to be so faithful despite her affliction. Coming home will make her days a little brighter.”
Craig said the prognosis is good that his wife will get her holiday wish. The family is busy preparing the house. But twinkling lights and garland are just a fraction of the preparations needed.
As so often happens when a sudden, catastrophic illness strikes, the Dettmanns’ world has been turned upside down. They are now facing costly home and lifestyle modifications.
The family’s need is greater than their means, Craig said. Paula’s condition mandates they purchase a mobility van, get in-home medical care and modify their bi-level home for wheelchair accessibility, he said.
They are asking for help through a gofundme.com account, www.gofundme.com/f/paula-dettmann?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.
The Rev. Paul Seaman, pastor of St. George Catholic Church in Tinley Park, said the Dettmanns have been significant members of the parish community for many years.
Paula was an aide in the parish school and worked in both the school and parish offices. She also was a teacher’s aide at St. Anthony’s School in Frankfort for many years.
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“The thing about a receptionist at a church, in particular, is that’s the first person you see. And Paula just put a very good face on St. George and always was warm and helpful to people,” Seaman said.
“Christmas,” Seaman said, “is about what we can give, rather than what we receive. This is a great opportunity to help someone who has given a lot of herself. I think this is a real blessing to the community.”
Donna Vickroy is an award-winning reporter, editor and columnist who worked for the Daily Southtown for 38 years.