From paint and sip to sip and shop, drinking alcohol can be synonymous with having a good time. You only have to look at the number of breweries and pubs that have opened up in recent years to see that.
The other side to this, of course, is imbibing too much can lead to serious problems. You don’t have to be an out-and-out alcoholic to suffer from drink-related health issues, but it can be hard to know when to pull back.
For Naperville mom Michelle Furlow, the wake-up call came when she was helping her niece with a craft project.
“On April 11, 2022, at 8:12 p.m. I was watching my niece, who loves crafting, and I had to get up from what we were doing to get a drink. That was it,” she said. “We had got through COVID, and I was causing a self-induced injury. I hit rock bottom and it scared me.”
Michelle, who works as a criminal justice professor at Moraine Valley Community College in Palos Hills, says she always enjoyed a drink or two, but things escalated during the pandemic. Now heading towards her first year of sobriety, she says she wasn’t officially diagnosed an alcoholic but likely would have been had she not stopped when she did.
“It became a medical problem for me,” she said. “I was a daily drinker. Every night began with a cocktail hour that lasted all evening. I started drinking socially from habit and through COVID, it was a treat. It became a problem during that time when there was nowhere to go. My kids, who were 15 and 13, didn’t need to get to school in the morning, they learned online. I was working from home.”
Michelle started experiencing what she calls “hangxiety.” She had morning hangovers with nausea and took so many Advil that they affected her stomach and liver. Despite this, she avoided going to the doctor. When she finally went for an annual checkup, he asked her some probing questions.
“I was dishonest with my doctor when he asked me how much I drank at first,” Michelle said. “I’d been having daily drinks my entire adult life, but it got worse through COVID.
“It started with one or two glasses of wine but turned into four vodka tonics a night. I estimated that I spent $15,000 a year on alcohol. My checkup revealed I had a hole in my stomach from an ulcer. My doctor told me if I didn’t stop drinking, I’d be facing surgery to repair it.”
Through social media, she found a sober support group of women she describes as “phenomenal.”
“There’s a lot of cultural identity in drinking,” she said. “(These women) were very supportive. Most were like me in just choosing an alcohol-free lifestyle. They were either in addiction or entering the throes of it. The joke gifts, like Mommy’s sippy cup for wine, is cute until it’s not. The line between is easily blurred.”
After one or two false starts, Michelle finally managed to give up alcohol entirely. She avoided any social engagements that might tempt her.
“I asked my kids if they have ever been at a social event and been on their phone so much that they missed what was happening around them,” she said. “That’s what drinking was like to me. I wasn’t really there. Now I enjoy different types of coffee and teas. I like to try different ones, sweet and savory to fit the occasion.”
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The good news is that within six months, her stomach had healed and her life had turned around. The 44-year-old divorcee is now engaged.
“Since I stopped drinking, I have gained a fiancé,” she said. “My children are very proud of me. I try to be very straightforward about it. Drinking was not good for my health so I don’t do it now.”
Michelle had been friends with Phillip Skelton since meeting him while they were studying at the University of Alabama 22 years earlier. He’d even been part of her wedding party when she married her first husband.
“She reached out through COVID and we talked every day since. It was great reconnecting,” Skelton said.
“Later in life you realize a relationship can be based on a good friendship and we have gotten a lot closer,” he said. “I don’t drink now either to support Michelle and I don’t miss it.”
The couple are planning an intimate June wedding in Huntsville, Alabama, where they’ll be toasting each other with non-alcoholic champagne.
Michelle says she’d always thought of alcoholics as people who drank secretly from bottles hidden in paper bags.
“I was not that person,” she said. “I wasn’t that far gone and that’s what made it hard for me. But I would avoid evening events because they would spoil cocktail ‘hour’ for me. Now I’m 10 times better. Stopping drinking has given me self-worth.”
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved to Naperville from England in 2007.