There are so many questions when your child returns to school. Will they like their teachers? How much homework will they have? What extracurricular activities will they try this year?
But one of the most important is actually what happens when they’re outside of school, particularly if parents cannot be home with them right away.
More Top Picks Best Heated Driveway Mats For Snow
For the past 34 years, that and related questions have been answered by Naperville Police’s Crime Prevention Department. Not only are they a great resource for parents, they’ve been presenting their On Your Own program in schools since 1988.
Despite this, Mary Browning, the police department’s community education specialist, admits one question that’s always difficult to answer is at what age can you legally leave your child at home alone?
“There’s a lot of misconception about when a child can be left,” she said. “People think they can only be alone around 12 but it’s a very gray area. Those are the things we teach.”
The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services defines a neglected minor as “any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor.”
However, that doesn’t mean your child has to be 14 before you can leave them.
Naperville police Cmdr. Matt Egan said a child can be safely left as young as 8 or 9 if you take into account their maturity and how long they’ll be left.
“You have some 9-year-olds who are more mature than 16-year-olds,” he said. “There are some 16-year-olds I wouldn’t leave for 15 minutes. Parents know best.”
The On Your Own program begins at the kindergarten level but it’s generally not until third grade that children may have to let themselves into their homes after school.
While there are no exact figures, Browning says when she asks third-graders to raise their hands if they have been home alone for more 10 minutes, most do.
“We get quite a lot when we ask if they’ve been left for an hour. If we ask for a few hours, at least five to 10 students in a class will put their hands up. It’s not always on a regular basis, of course, but it’s a misconception to think that no one in third grade would be left,” she said.
Although there are after-school programs available, not all parents have the resources to pay for them. The police think the best way to deal with the situation is to make sure the children know exactly what to do when they’re alone, including how to deal with any unusual situations.
“It’s estimated that 12 million children across the country are home alone every day,” Browning said. “We don’t want children to be afraid to call the police. We tell them if they’re frightened, absolutely call us.”
Egan agrees.
“Most of the time it’s nothing but we like to empower them to call us,” he said. “We’re glad they do. The majority of burglaries happen when homes are unlocked and the house is empty. It’s rare to have forced entry and it’s rare for burglaries to be random. They normally pick places where they believe there are lots of valuables inside.”
Browning offers the following tips to parents before deciding to leave their child home alone for the first time.
Coach your child to see if they’re ready. There are some good social services programs to help them. Some third-graders may be scared so you want to build their confidence. You can start with a trial period. Let them be alone for a few minutes while you walk the dog or go next door to a neighbor.
Have house rules. This will be different for everyone but make sure your child knows what they are.
Discuss activities they can do when they’re home alone, like homework, reading and chores, so you can have family time when you get home.
Have a structured after-school routine. Begin with the child locking the door before calling their check-in person.
Provide them with a place where they can list what they did. It teaches independence and is a head start for problem solving and accepting challenges.
The police provide all children in Naperville School Districts 203 and Indian Prairie School District 204 with a booklet, sponsored by the Exchange Club of Naperville, which gives families plenty to discuss. Although things have changed a little since On Your Own was started, much of the information still stands.
“What has changed are things like alarms, Ring doorbells and internet,” Browning said. “We tell them not to open the door even if they know the person. It’s better not to go to the door at all because anyone there can see they’re alone. Online, they should only talk to people they know in the real world.”
More Top Picks Transformers Landscapes
There can be a positive side to leaving your child home alone for short periods. Armed with all the information they need to help them in challenging situations, it can help them to become independent young adults.
Said Browning: “We live in a safe community but it’s not a crime-free community. It’s consistently safe because we have wonderful police and crime prevention programs.”
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved to Naperville from England in 2007.