When should we give into our fears? When drive-by shootings on the tollways are a daily occurrence? When a teenager is fatally wounded at one of the city’s most popular tourist sites? When innocent people are slaughtered at a neighborhood parade? When it seemed like everyone was catching COVID-19 early in the pandemic?
When we first moved to the wild, wild Midwest 15 years ago, it seemed to me that if you avoided the South Side of Chicago, you’d be pretty safe. For me, the scariest part of being on the tollways would be if I had to sit behind the wheel. As long as I was in the passenger seat, I didn’t have a care in the world.
A few weeks ago I read a letter to the editor from a gentleman saying he would not risk his life to travel into Chicago to see a show or eat a meal. To him the odds of being shot at on the expressway were so high that he declared he would never go further than Naperville. He also complained about the number of panhandlers and “out-of-work” musicians who crowd the city’s sidewalks.
I probably wouldn’t have given this much thought if not for the fact that I was traveling into the city myself that very afternoon to do both. What bothered me was not that I thought I was stepping into a war zone, but that some people are so afraid that anxiety causes them to stop their daily activities.
The drive, as I believed it would be, was uneventful. But when we arrived at the pre-booked parking lot, there was a police car blocking the entrance. Did we panic and immediately drive all the way home? No, we simply drove around the corner to use another entrance.
Once we’d parked and walked down to street level, we noted the police car was still there. Not only that, but the stretch of road in front of The Goodman Theater was completely closed. With the gentleman’s letter still on my mind, I suspected the worst.
“Look,” I said to my husband, aka Grumpy. “At least if the police have closed the road down, it means whatever has happened has already happened and we’re safe.”
Thinking we’d literally dodged a bullet, closer inspection made me realize there were no cops running around on the streets, but Grumpy did notice a lone vehicle trundling along.
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“It’s a film crew,” he pointed out. “They’re just filming something here.”
Walking around the corner, we did indeed spot several panhandlers. They’re not especially aggressive and to be honest you don’t have to travel to Chicago to see them. Even in Naperville these days it is very common to see groups of women and children at road junctions begging for money from drivers.
As for “out-of-work” musicians, I find they add a certain little something extra when you’re leaving a theater. I applaud their creativity for knowing that music lovers, buoyed by a good mood from leaving a show, might give them a little extra.
One thing that definitely is true, however, is I was wrong when I thought all the violence was in the South Side. At the start of the summer, “Moulin Rouge” canceled a performance because of shooting near the theater. I’m certainly not saying you shouldn’t be mindful of your surroundings and take sensible precautions, but thousands of people regularly use and enjoy all areas of the city safely so why assume you won’t be one of them?
It’s understandable to be fearful immediately after an incident. But if we allow our fears to take hold, none of us would ever again visit a movie theater, take our children to elementary school, go to a shopping mall or wave our flags during a parade.
I can’t help but wonder if the media (both real and social) isn’t to blame for all this hysteria. Every report adds a little fuel to the fire. I’m not saying we should bury the news. When we have so many shootings that some aren’t even worth reporting, that’s a terrible indictment of our society. But what are the real odds you’ll actually be carjacked on your way to the city or that as an innocent by-stander you’ll be shot as you walk down the street?
In one way I was almost relieved to note that fear of violence seems to be the number one reason not to visit Chicago. It means the terror of catching COVID had slipped down a place. How many people are still not eating in restaurants, using public transportation or going to entertainment venues because of that particular worry? I still drive past people walking alone on an empty street wearing masks.
I’m not here to belittle anyone suffering from genuine anxiety. It’s a real issue and one that absolutely requires professional help. But if you’re using some of these issues as an excuse not to live life to the fullest, I’d suggest you think again.
We can’t live our lives encased in a blanket of fear. If something tangible is happening to us or a loved one, we must deal with it. But if it’s a concern about what might happen, could happen but probably won’t happen, I urge you to try to ignore it and embrace life.
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved to Naperville from England in 2007.