As school leaders prepare for the upcoming school year, I am certain many of them have heavy hearts similar to mine that are filled with emotion and uncertainty. Mass shootings that target children and teachers have us wondering what needs to be said and done to reassure them of their safety.
Finding encouraging words to support each other is more important now than ever before.
I emailed my staff a heartfelt message to reassure them and provide some comfort after the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Out of respect for the teachers and students who lost their lives and their families, we decided to have a moment of silence. I also talked to students and teachers about the war in Ukraine after finding out that many of the students had expressed concern about their safety upon seeing thousands of Ukrainian children being displaced, schools bombed and cities ravaged.
Now, I am left asking myself: What horrific incident will happen next? How will I reassure my students, teachers and parents that everything is going to be fine? I am not sure what words I would have used if the school had still been in session after the mass shooting in Highland Park, which took place during a celebration. What is more cheerful and heartwarming than a parade? Parades symbolize unity and the importance of community, and they become a part of our memories. This unthinkable mass shooting will stay with those children and adults for the rest of their lives and may trigger trauma-related responses during other parades.
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When horrific events happen to people, they traditionally experience the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When we experience a terrible thing, we typically don’t expect that it will repeat, which allows us to go through the stages and move toward normalcy again. But how can we when these events continue to take place? More importantly, how can our youths? There have been more than 300 mass shootings in the United States in 2022, according to data from the nonprofit research group Gun Violence Archive. At this rate, it makes the prospect of moving past the five stages of grief more difficult. In essence, we are stuck in the five-stage process, unable to heal.
Challenges abound for leaders who pride themselves on having answers to difficult questions and situations. How do we respond to children who are mired in grief? How do we respond to their fear, particularly when mass shootings have become so common? How do we respond to parents and teachers who also have feelings of trepidation?
These difficult questions require a great deal of thought. These are unprecedented times, and a blueprint doesn’t exist. We are fighting for the hearts and minds of our students, teachers and parents. We want parents to send their children to school and feel that they will return home unharmed. We want our teachers’ family members to feel the same.
So how do we move forward collectively? We can start by being transparent, collaborative and supportive. Transparency nurtures trust. We lay out how we will respond in a crisis, what the protocol is and what the safety measures are. Collaboration and support allow input from others and reassure those involved that their concerns are being listened to. There is an old African proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Survivors of mass shootings can continue to live productively through support from the wider community. Schools, churches and community groups play an integral role in the process. For the very young, that may include years and even decades of support.
School leaders, at every level, are feeling the strain, the overwhelming concern and the inclination to reassure students, teachers and parents that everything is going to be fine, and that there will be brighter days. Unfortunately, simply saying it is not enough. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 4,300 youths died from gunshot wounds in 2020. Gun-related deaths are now the leading cause of death for children in the United States. Simply put, all of us must change the trajectory of this enormous problem. It will take all of us working in concert to protect our children.
Clearly, we have seen that no community is immune to these unprovoked and unpredictable acts. Hopefully, this will unite us as a country. We should all have the same priority: the safety of our schools. Our students and teachers deserve it.
Jerald McNair is a school administrator at South Holland Illinois School District 151.
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