If you think you’ve heard enough about what some are calling Will Smith’s “slap heard around the world,” I beg your indulgence.
Smith embarrassed more than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences when he marched onto the Oscars stage and slapped comedian Chris Rock for directing a joke at his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith.
More Top Picks Best 4k Tvs
He also embarrassed a lot of parents and others who have tried to overcome, as NBC “Today” show co-anchor Craig Melvin later put it, “this long-held perception that men of color can’t control their rage and anger.”
Predictably, Melvin received a Twitter storm of criticism, particularly from Black folks dismayed by any airing of dirty Black community laundry that might be used against us.
But, as a fellow Black parent, I know he’s right. More serious than the “perception” is the actual reality of how challenging it can be to control rage and anger — and how true strength is often defined not by your courage to win a fight, but to avoid one.
Too often I have seen or reported on situations in which someone is triggered by an insult or a slight — somebody steps on somebody’s foot or cuts somebody off in traffic — and words are exchanged and, before you know it, somebody gets shot.
Our kids, like the rest of us, need to seek better ways to resolve conflicts — or simply to walk away.
Now we have Will Smith’s example of losing his cool in a way that will hang on him in infamy, clouding the inspirational message of his “King Richard,” the movie for which he won the year’s best actor Oscar — only the fifth Black man to receive that honor — for playing a man who exemplifies positive role modeling, Richard Williams, father and coach of tennis superstars Venus and Serena Williams.
Such was the feel-good message that Smith ironically disrupted when he marched onto the Oscars stage and, as Rock put it, “smacked the s—” out of the actor-comedian.
But when Smith returned later to accept his first-ever Academy Award, he delivered a tearful apology to almost everyone, withholding Rock’s name until the next day. Instead, he spoke of being a fierce defender of women, just like the tennis dad character he played.
That feel-good movie’s nomination added to the evening’s otherwise generally positive mood. So did the historical breakthroughs of the deaf family drama “CODA,” the first film with a largely deaf cast to win best picture; deaf actor Troy Kotsur of “CODA” and openly queer woman of color Ariana DeBose of “West Side Story,” who won supporting acting Oscars; and Jane Campion, who won best director for “Power of the Dog.”
And so did Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson’s best documentary Oscar for “Summer of Soul (…or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised),” made from recovered footage of the historic 1969 Harlem Cultural Festival.
Unfortunately, Questlove’s triumph was drowned out by the shock and confusion that followed Smith’s big slap, which probably will be remembered more than the evening’s big honors.
What came over Smith? In his tearful apology as he received his Oscar, he said he felt like the protector of many women, including his wife, after Rock made a rude joke about her short hair.
Did Rock know that Pinkett Smith has alopecia, a condition that leads to hair loss? It seems to me that he should have. As the host of the popular Facebook “Red Table Talk” show, she has been very public about it.
Besides, Rock made “Good Hair,” a widely praised 2009 documentary about the art, culture and economics surrounding Black women’s hair, prompted by his daughter’s asking a question heard in many Black households: “Daddy, how come I don’t have good hair?”
We shouldn’t let Chris Rock off the hook, many say. Dancing along the edge of offense is part of his brand and celebrities like the Smiths know that being targeted by Rock’s often-raunchy humor is a sign of their stardom. Cry on your way to the bank, one might advise.
But the most memorable wisdom to emerge from this year’s Oscars came from Denzel Washington, as quoted by Will Smith in his acceptance speech: “At your highest moment, be careful — that’s when the devil comes for you.”
Yes, it is. So does the risk of a rapid slide back to the bottom. Our kids need to learn that too.
Sign up here to receive Clarence Page’s columns by email as soon as they are published.
Clarence Page, a member of the Tribune Editorial Board, blogs at www.chicagotribune.com/pagespage.
More Top Picks Best Down Jackets For Men
Twitter @cptime