When Michelle Holubek was a sophomore in high school, her best friend seemed unusually down about a recent breakup with her boyfriend. Holubek tried to reassure her, but the friend attempted suicide by swallowing dozens of aspirin.
“I didn’t know what she was thinking,” Holubek recalled about her friend, who today is fine.
After a 90-minute Question, Persuade, Refer class via Zoom on recognizing and preventing suicide, Holubek feels better prepared.
“It just kind of opened my eyes as to what to look for, how to approach someone to talk about it,” said Holubek, a dental hygienist who volunteers with the Community Emergency Response Team in New Lenox. “It gave me the feeling that if you do say something, it might really help.”
One scenario about a man whose cries on a bus went unanswered before he took his own life made Holubek realize she had the power to act.
“The story about the man who jumped off the bridge broke my heart,” said Holubek. “I have to say I probably would have waited a little bit but then would be like, ‘Sir, are you OK.'”
The class, led by Dan Martin of the New Lenox Safe Communities America Coalition and Sertoma Centre, Inc., offered plenty of tips and background.
Gia Washington, director of community education at Sertoma Centre, said 2020 statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and several other sources found suicides dipped slightly in 2020, though there were still 46,000. Washington said the National Center for Health Statistics reported increases among young adults, American Indians, Alaska Native, Black Americans and Hispanic Americans.
“It was still relatively early in the pandemic, so the thought is people at home were receiving a lot of support and if someone was struggling, someone in the home might have been able to recognize that,” said Washington. “And people were talking more about mental health, so telehealth services were also available.”
But Washington said the long-term mental health effects from the COVID-19 pandemic are unknown.
“We’re hearing people say they’re really struggling,” she said. “They aren’t feeling as good as they kind of hoped they would feel.”
Washington said groups of people who generally attempt suicide at higher rates include 15- to 24-year-olds, people who announce they are LGTB and are not accepted by family members or are bullied, veterans, and doctors, dentists and veterinarians.
“There’s really a lot of ambivalence. The person would like to remain alive but also like the pain to end,” said Washington.
Lisa Guardiola, a community mental health outreach and education trainer at Sertoma, mentioned myths about suicide: that no one can stop it; confronting someone will only make them angry; those who plan it keep it to themselves; and anyone who talks about it doesn’t do it.
Guardiola said by recognizing clues and warning signs, as well as knowing how to talk to someone exhibiting signs, people can help prevent these deaths.
“It’s up to us to educate ourselves and know what those warning signs are so we can notice them and prevent someone from suicide,” she said.
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Guardiola said some hints are people acquiring guns or pills, having a preoccupation with knives or rope, seeming moody or hopeless, putting their personal affairs in order or blowing up more than usual. Other vulnerable people are those in chronic pain or recently diagnosed with a deadly illness, or elderly people who have lost their freedom and fear becoming a burden to loved ones, she said.
Veronica Cullinan, also a community mental health outreach and education trainer, said people should use direct language, such as, “Are you thinking of suicide or are you having thoughts of killing yourself,” rather than “You aren’t thinking of suicide, are you … suicide is dumb.”
Even asking someone if they feel like hurting themselves may not be effective because the person may be thinking of a method that doesn’t involve pain.
Cullinan said it was important to listen carefully and not rush to judgment, and to offer hope and resources. Even asking the person to come along for help can be effective, she said.
She shared a suicide prevention hotline number, 1-800-273-8255, and said other sources include pastors, therapists or someone the individual trusts.
“Just remember, too, that hope, planting those seeds of hope and all the reasons to live, prevents suicide,” said Cullinan.
Janice Neumann is a freelance reporter for the Daily Southtown.