As Peggy Bagley reminisced about the life of her husband of 41 years, Rabbi Douglas Goldhamer, she described his lifelong efforts to assist others.
“If I was driving the car and there was a poor person with a sign,” Bagley recalled. “We would always have to have money in the car so we could give it to them.”
Goldhamer, the spiritual leader of Skokie’s Congregation Bene Shalom, the first congregation in the United States designed to assist the deaf community, died Feb. 3 at Evanston Hospital of multiple organ failure, Bagley said. He was 76.
Symbolizing her husband’s efforts to help those less fortunate, Bagley said she put a $5 bill in her husband’s pocket when he was buried.
“His overriding legacy is we should be kind to one another and we should see that God is within his fellow man,” she said.
Born in Montreal in 1945, Goldhamer encountered a health challenge that his wife believed set his lifelong guiding philosophy to help those in need.
Just 30 days after being born, doctors attempted to remove a birthmark and correct an elongation of his left arm and leg with radiation. However, he was exposed for too long to the radiation, leading to lifelong complications, Bagley noted.
“It made him more aware of others, to their needs, and made him more sensitive to them,” Bagley said.
As he was growing up, Goldhamer’s parents desired that their son pursue a career as a notary public. Instead, he was drawn to the rabbinate.
“He grew up with an intense love of God,” Bagley said.
Goldhamer received a bachelor’s degree from Sir George Williams University in Montreal and then pursued rabbinic studies at Hebrew-Union College in Cincinnati.
Goldhamer’s work with the deaf started in the late 1960s when he was a student rabbi. A fellow student was going to Chicago to lead a Passover Seder for the Hebrew Association of the Deaf and invited Goldhamer to join him.
The fellow student was about to move to Israel and encouraged Goldhamer to take over serving that group. Goldhamer was immediately enchanted.
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“He fell in love with them and they fell in love with him,” Bagley said.
In 1972, Bene Shalom was formed in Skokie, with Goldhamer installed as the rabbi. Over the years, despite facing financial challenges, the congregation has remained active. Members included the family of noted actress Marlee Matlin, who was Bas Mitzvahed by Goldhamer.
Today’s membership includes Niles resident Barbara Schwartz, whose son was facing a serious health challenge and was married in a religious ceremony by Goldhamer. “I think having the rabbi marry him and his girlfriend under Jewish law increased his desire to keep living,” Schwartz said. “It was very special to both of them and our families.”
Schwartz had not been a member of a congregation for several years but signed up at Bene Shalom because she was drawn to Goldhamer’s philosophy on assisting others.
“There was a strong spiritual pull from him that I felt,” Schwartz said. “Because of the kindness and caring he showed in general, he didn’t just talk the talk, he walked the walk.”
Goldhamer expanded his reach to the greater Chicago area by delivering sign language news reports on WMAQ-TV in the 1970s.
He later earned a doctorate in medieval philosophy from the University of Chicago and in 1992, Goldhamer launched Skokie’s Hebrew Seminary, a rabbinical school that trains students, particularly those interested in working with the deaf.
Apart from Bene Shalom, Goldhamer co-authored two books, was a scholar in residence at Washington D.C.’s Gallaudet University and was a member of several local rabbinical organizations.
In the last 20 years, after going to art shows with Bagley, he took up painting, and several of his pieces — mostly having a Jewish theme — were later displayed in galleries around the nation.
“He just naturally took to it and fell in love with painting,” Bagley said.
Yet, Bagley said throughout his life, Goldhamer’s guiding philosophy centered on caring for others.
“He just had a beautiful heart,” she said. “It would never occur to him to not help anyone. He believed so strongly that God was always watching him and that was a compass for him. He had to do whatever would make God happy.”
Besides Bagley, survivors include his brother, Dr. Paul Goldhamer of Toronto, and five nieces and nephews.
Services have been held.
