Santa Claus.
A magical part of Western culture?
Or a good idea gone bad?
No doubt, the jolly guy in red charged with keeping kids on the straight and narrow by promising presents in return for good behavior is ingrained in the hearts and lifestyles of Americans.
But should he be?
Recently, the New York Times reported that across Italy, Roman Catholic clergy are dissing the big guy and even going so far as to pull back the curtain on the whole chimney delivery process while in the presence of children.
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In other words, they’re telling kids their parents are liars.
A lot of nerve, yes, for an institution that can hardly call itself transparent but the clerics have their reasons and those kind of make sense.
We’ve lost the Christ in Christmas and, even if you’re not Christian, collectively we’ve wandered too far from the true meaning of the day. Indeed, they say, we’ve replaced spiritualism with greed, materialism and, well, lying – all things we claim to hate in our leaders and sometimes ourselves.
Of course, we know that by blaming Santa, the clergy are really blaming parents for letting things get out of hand. Is that really fair?
The argument against Santa Claus is hardly a new one. For decades, people have wondered if it’s healthy to cajole small kids into believing that a strange man is not only watching their every move but is planning to break into their house on Christmas Eve. Is it cowardly to use Santa as a behavior modifier? Is it sacrilegious to allow the secular Christmas to snuff out the nonsecular one?
Besides, there’s the impracticality of it all. A 6-year-old can see the holes in the chimney theory and a 7-year-old knows that if Santa uses the front door, the Ring will record it.
In the bishops’ corner, of course, is the inequity of it all. In the case of affluent families, Santa brings enough presents to fill a family room. In the case of the poor, Santa’s promise goes unfulfilled. Would a true Santa allow such a thing to happen? True, that argument can be turned around: Would a true God allow poverty and despair to happen?
Add to that dilemma ethical questions such as: Is it right for kids to equate good behavior with more stuff? And is it OK to come clean when they’re 9 or 10 and tell them it was all a big lie?
I read the story and immediately felt a twinge of Catholic guilt. One, because Catholic guilt is ingrained in me, and two, because, at this very minute, there’s a pile of presents awaiting my grandchildren.
Christmas is work. It’s expensive. It’s chaotic. And it’s not exactly heartwarming for people in financial need. Mostly, Christmas runs roughshod over parents. Must we beat them up some more?
Besides, my daughter, a mother of two, insists, for children, Christmas is magical. And it should continue to be so.
“Kids only get so much time to live in a fantasy world, where anything is possible,” she said. “We should let them have it.”
She’s right, of course, childhood is short, particularly these days.
But the clerics are right, too. There is too much materialism and inequity and unfairness attached to this holiday.
Still, should members of the Catholic church, particularly those people who’ve never had children, be the ones to determine how to right this holiday ship?
I propose parents come up with a compromise. And I have a thought. In addition to talking about kindness and even shopping for gifts for others, how about we personalize the good behavior thing?
Instead of encouraging kids to make lists of all the things they want for Christmas, how about they ponder all of the kind things they’ve done over the past year?
Maybe they helped their mom with the laundry.
Maybe they let their little brother use the computer first.
Maybe they made friends with a kid who needed one.
And what if Santa wrote back?
Imagine a short letter tucked in a stocking: “Dear Joey, I love the way you work so hard in school and help your little sister at home. I was so proud of you when you helped shovel snow for your neighbors. Keep up the good work. Love, Santa.”
And imagine, one day, when that signature changes to, “Love, Mom and Dad.”
Maybe pulling back the curtain won’t be quite so painful.
After all, kindness is a gift that warms the heart, encourages repetition and requires no batteries. Often, it is free too.
And positive reinforcement is so much easier to give than hard-to-find items that are stuck in a port somewhere overseas.
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Instead of piles of presents, or if you insist, in addition to them, why not let our cup runneth over with kind gestures?
Another thought: Shouldn’t the church help parents be better by offering encouragement instead of shame? Give them strategies and opportunities for instilling kindness in their kids. And when they do well, tell them they did.
Positive reinforcement is a magical thing too.
Because the reason for the season, both secular and nonsecular, it is about gifting others with joy and hope and goodwill. Christ came to save the world. Santa came to restore childhood during a dark time in history.
I’d say times are pretty dark again right now. We could use some joy and hope and goodwill. We could also do with an annual reminder that as fun as it is to get presents, it’s far more rewarding to recognize that bestowing kindness is the best gift of all.
True story.
Donna Vickroy is an award-winning reporter, editor and columnist who worked for the Daily Southtown for 38 years.