Dear Dr. June: We went shopping for Christmas gifts early this year so we can avoid the crowds. It was my mom, my sister, my niece and me. We had a girls weekend and it was a lot of fun and cherished memories.
Things didn’t go to well after that. My sister got sick and found out she had cancer in her bones. She had been complaining about a backache for a while but she thought she pulled a muscle. The doctor gave her a muscle relaxer but when she finally had a scan they found the cancer.
She is no longer with us and her barely legal daughter is devastated. She just turned 19. We are helping her cope and she is talking to someone but mom and I are concerned about Christmas. We bought gifts for my sister with her name on it and we don’t know what to do with them.
The second concern is Christmas weekend. My husband and I planned a trip but don’t know if we should go because it would just be my niece and my mom unless her dad decides to get her. What do you think we should do?
—Holiday Woes in Chicago
Dear Holiday Woes: I am mega sorry for your loss. Lower back seems to be a huge indicator of cancer in the body. Hopefully, this will encourage others to get scanned when the pain initially begins. I lost my sister before Thanksgiving a few years ago so I understand this has to be a difficult time.
What’s wonderful is you had the wherewithal to get professional help for the daughter. It appears they had a good relationship that is now lost. Sending positive care your way. Now let’s deal with your concerns. In both instances I think it will be fruitful to consider your niece being she is a vital component of the situation.
Let’s start with the gifts. Have you asked your daughter if she wants them for a sentiment? If they were purchased during your girls weekend, she may want them as a remembrance. Give her some time to deal before asking her. If she chooses not to keep them, then donate to charity. It can still end up being special to someone.
More than likely she is not going to ask you to give up your Christmas trip, even if she wants you to do so. This is the first holiday after losing her mom, she shouldn’t have to be strong. Be there for her. She needs as much support as possible during this time, especially during the holiday. Yes, at some point, she will have to get used to being alone to a certain degree. It may be too soon for that.
My guess is that she needs you and as much family around her for the holidays as much as possible. I’m sure you are looking forward to your trip, but maybe you can make a detour for your niece this Christmas.
Email Dr. June Hall at [email protected] and subscribe to her YouTube “Cooking up Advice.” For more information about Dr. June visit www.drjunehall.com or follow her on Instagram @aptacious.
(c)2021 aptacious. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
More Top Picks Best Treadmills For Home Use